Adele Jennings and her husband, Mark, decided to take part in a seven-day digital detox for the whole family and they were very surprised with the results
We need to spend less time on digital devices to be happier, according to this family
“Wait, what do you mean I won’t be able to have my smartphone for a week?”
This was our then 15-year-old daughter Amber trying to get her head around the fact that our family would be taking part in a seven-day digital detox. Jacob, our then eight-year-old YouTube addict, said he was up for the challenge, but my husband Mark wasn’t sure. “It will be really good for all of us,” I say, trying to convince my social media-loving, Instagram -posting self, too. I live on my phone, and my life is organised with the help of my virtual assistant. I love Instagram and I’m always posting on Facebook. I have my work emails and my ourfamilylife.co.uk website app all on my iPhone. I spoke with digital detox expert Adam Cox to get some advice before we started our week. He recommended keeping our devices in a different location. Here are our rules for the week: No smartphones, no tablets, no Xbox, no Kindles, no MP3 players, no Kurios (kids’ tablet), no laptops, no computers.
OK, so one exception, I’m working all week and I have to use a computer to do my job. But I promise you, there will be no sneaky logging on to social media. Mark and I were only allowed to use our phones to call each other. Amber was not at all happy about being without her phone. This was going to be tricky…
Day one – Tuesday
First morning without our phone alarm. Mark found an old plug-in clock with a horrible-sounding alarm, which didn’t go down well. I do a lot of online banking on an iPhone app, so today, for the first time, I’m going to an actual bank. While waiting for it to open, I sit in a Costa coffee shop, aware that I won’t be gaining points on my coffee app this time.
When Mark went to pick up Jacob from school, he took a book to read while he waited. Mark doesn’t read books. Usually in our house, we all do our own thing. Amber is in her bedroom on her phone, Xbox and iPad – yes, all at the same time. Mark is in the kitchen making dinner or doing chores, and playing games on his phone when he gets the chance. Jacob likes to watch YouTube on his iPad in the lounge with me, while I look at social media, work on my laptop and watch TV, all at the same time.
Something unusual happened later that day – we all spent time together, and it was lovely. We chatted, laughed and, to be honest, I think after one day without our devices, we were all a bit hysterical. Time for bed. After reading a few chapters of a David Walliams ’ book (Jacob usually goes to bed listening to an audio book), he settled down without kicking off. Amber decided to get an early night, probably out of boredom. At least we haven’t fallen out with each other… yet!
Day two – Wednesday
Urgh, that annoying alarm! I miss the gentle sound of Pink Floyd waking me up in the morning. Amber confesses she borrowed her friend’s phone at school to log into her Snapchat. At least she told me. This is the first day I will be driving to work without my traffic-busting app Waze. It meant I was late. Mark and I have been handwriting notes to each other –although after being together for almost 25 years, they are practical rather than love notes. Jacob has enjoyed playing outside on his bike and with our husky Sky. Amber decided she would watch TV with us in the evening, for a while at least, which was really nice.
Day three – Thursday
I begin to feel I’m missing out by not posting on social media. Mark declares he hasn’t missed social media. I needed to order a repeat prescription from my doctor, which I usually do on the myGP app, so I had to drive there, which was a bit inconvenient. Amber told her friends her phone is broken as she finds the truth embarrassing. Jacob watched TV today, which is unheard of. He also enjoyed doing some drawing and helping me with a 1,000-word jigsaw I bought especially to fill the tech gap. Mark thought one sneaky look online wouldn’t hurt, but he resisted. Amber did four hours of revision – that’s two days running!
Day four – Friday
I do think Jacob has been a bit better behaved these last few days. Coincidence? I’m still phoning Mark a lot, which is really annoying him. Another successful night of Jacob going to bed, no problems.
Day five – Saturday
Today is going to be interesting as I’m at work and out of the house for 17 hours. Jacob goes to drama school, so that will occupy him for a while. Mark spends time up in the loft digging out our old non-digital gadgets. He unearthed my 80s Walkman, which Jacob found fascinating. Apparently it was funny watching him try to figure out how to put the cassette in. “Is that what you had to do in the olden days?” he asked. I’m a full-time working mum and Mark is a stay-at-home dad, so I really miss the funny pics and videos of Jacob he usually sends me when I’m in the office.
Day six – Sunday
Oh no! We forgot to turn off the alarm, so it woke us up really early. I unplugged it and we went back to sleep. This is the only day we get to spend as a family as I work every Saturday. We decided to go for a walk in the woods with Sky, which we all really enjoyed.
Amber is at an age when she’d rather be out with her friends than spend time with her parents and ‘annoying’ younger brother, so I was really happy when she said she wanted to come with us. And it was great to see her climbing trees and having fun – and amazingly getting on really well with Jacob. We even managed to complete the border on the jigsaw. We had a good laugh over how difficult it was to do.
Day seven – Monday
The last day – we actually made it! I’m surprised at all of us for managing to go the whole week without our phones and tablets. And I’m especially proud of Amber. I think it has been the most challenging for her, as teens’ lives are spent connected 24/7. Jacob has decided that when he gets his iPad back, he will only go on it for a couple of days a week – let’s see how long that lasts! Amber says she’ll go straight back on her phone and Xbox. Mark thinks he will use his phone less.
I really missed social media at the beginning of the week. I love the world of online and how creative you can be, but I will definitely be aware of spending more time together as a family. When I finally checked my phone, I discovered my screen time was 89% down on the previous week. I had only used it for calls. This has been a really good thing for our family to do, and I would recommend everyone who is addicted to their gadgets to give them a break for a while. I feel we have reconnected as a family and that has been truly wonderful.
Adele Jennings is a parent blogger at ourfamilylife.co.uk