A paraglider’s flight nearly ended in chaos after he spotted something that almost tangled in his gear, Christopher Bucktin writes. Elsewhere this week, a school administrator has been benched after turning the district lawn mowers into his own side hustle
A paraglider’s flight nearly went pop after he ran into a rogue birthday balloon mid-air. The 27-year-old was cruising the skies when a giant “6” balloon floated into his path, almost tangling in his gear. “At first I thought it was another pilot, then maybe a big bird,” he said.
“Turns out it was just a number six trying to take me out.” The bizarre brush with balloon warfare has since gone viral, racking up more than four million views on TikTok.
Meanwhile, the US Justice Department’s No. 2, Todd Blanche, thinks heckling Donald Trump over dinner is basically the same as running the Mafia. Yes, really.
Protesters who shouted at the president while he was “trying to enjoy dinner” could, according to Trump toadie Blanche, face federal racketeering charges – the same law designed to take down mob bosses.
“Is it sheer happenstance,” he asked with a straight face, “that individuals show up at a restaurant and accost him with vile words?” Apparently, in Trumpworld, a few angry diners equals organised crime. Next stop: life sentences for bad Google reviews.
An Akron schools administrator has been benched after turning the district’s lawn mowers into his own side hustle.
Steven Keenan traded in 11 school mowers without approval, snagged seven back on a “friends and family” discount, then tried flogging five of them on Facebook Marketplace for nearly triple the price.
The school board wasn’t impressed, suspending him without pay and considering whether to let him go for good. Looks like Keenan’s grass-cutting scheme just got mowed down. Boffins from the University of California, Berkeley has discovered chimps have been on the booze all along – courtesy of their daily fruit buffet.
A new study found that the figs and plum-like snacks they gorge on pack just enough natural alcohol to leave the average chimp tipsy, the equivalent of two cocktails a day for a human.
Scientists lugged equipment through humid jungles in Uganda and Côte d’Ivoire to test the fruit, only to discover the chimps were basically living on kombucha with a kick. Forget bananas – these apes are running their own happy hour in the treetops. Executives at a strip club empire have been busted for trying to pole-dance their way out of $8 million in taxes. Prosecutors say Houston-based RCI Hospitality bribed a New York tax auditor with luxury trips, steak dinners, and enough lap dances to make a conga line.
The perks allegedly included 13 jaunts to Florida and up to $5,000 a day in “private entertainment” at clubs like Miami’s Tootsie’s Cabaret.
“RCI’s executives shamelessly used their strip clubs to bribe their way out of paying millions,” fumed Attorney General Letitia James. Turns out the real audit wasn’t on the books, it was in the VIP room.