A child psychologist has shared the nine things that parents can do to help make sure their children will have exceptional social skills as both a child and as they navigate adulthood
A child psychologist has shared that parents may be putting too much emphasis on things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things and overlooking the things that will give them exceptional social skills. Reem Raouda, a child psychologist who posts on Instagram as @highloveparenting, shared she’s studied over 200 children, and there are things that parents can do to bolster their kids’ confidence and abilities from a young age, and it doesn’t necessarily involve hammering home that they have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ at every conceivable opportunity.
However, she did say that there are nine things that parents consistently do to ensure their kids have great social skills. Writing for CNBC, she explained these things in detail.
1. They talk openly about emotions and feelings
Reem shared if parents are open about the way that they feel, and give their children the languages to discuss how they’re feeling, they’re more likely to be able to regulate their own emotions as they grow up – and recognise others’ as well.
She explained children are less likely to lash out if something doesn’t go their way if they’ve seen their parents regulate their behaviour in real time.
2. They model empathy
Children are constantly watching the way their parents treat other people, and if their parents are kind to everyone, the likelihood is that they will learn this behaviour and model it themselves.
Acts of kindness will rub off on your children, and soon they will be the adults holding the door for people behind them, and complimenting strangers as they pass them by.
3. They teach how to make things right after an argument
Children will be able to sustain healthy bonds with the people around them, provided they know how to open up dialogue about their feelings, and accept that they may not be 100% blameless in a situation. Reem says that this is really important for kids to become reasonable adults.
4. They foster authentic confidence
Reem reckons if you allow your children to do things for themselves, yes, of course, it may not go perfectly to plan every time, but it does foster that authentic confidence so they’ll try and try and try again!
She wrote: “When paired with encouragement like, ‘I love how you kept trying,’ kids feel capable and connected, without needing to be perfect”.
5. They help their children recognise social cues
If you, as a parent, point out subtle changes in someone else’s behaviour, and explain to them why that might have happened, children will be able to recognise little social cues, Reem shares.
“These micro-lessons add up and shape socially aware, emotionally intelligent adults,” she reiterated.
6. They validate their child’s feelings
Rather than brushing off how your little one feels, Reem says it’s important to validate them and ask them whether they want to tell you more about what’s gone down in their day to cause upset.
This means they’ll have confidence in themselves, and feel as though you want to know more about them, rather than just shutting them down by saying something like ‘it’s not a big deal’.
7. They let their children resolve their own conflicts
Conflicts are a part of life, and ultimately, you as a parent will not be there to step in every single time your child disagrees with somebody else.
The best learning happens, according to Reem, when the parents are happy to take a step back and let their child sort things out for themselves.
8. They treat mistakes as opportunities to learn
Everybody makes mistakes; it’s a part of life, and Reem says that mistakes are the perfect opportunities for kids to learn.
It’s important to make your child show “accountability without humiliation,” so help them rectify what it is they’ve done wrong and recognise it, but don’t drag them for it unnecessarily.
9. They listen more than they give lectures
Nobody responds well to being spoken at in a negative way, and if you teach your kids what good listening looks like, then they will grow up to be respectful adults.
Reem wrote: “Good social skills are becoming more and more important in today’s world, and those skills grow from connection and emotional safety and by practicing early, you’re ensuring that your kid will grow up to be empathetic humans who are ready for real-world relationships”.