A ‘drained’ mum says she’s fed up for being judged and shamed over her holiday childcare choices because spending time away from her neurodivergent kids makes her a better parent and keeps her mental health in check
An exhausted mum has shared her disappointment after she and her husband were slammed for using a hack to keep their kids busy while they were on holiday.
Kayla Squier shared a video from the family’s all-inclusive trip abroad showing the tired parents taking some time out on their own to enjoy the spa, take in a show and reconnect with each other properly.
However the posts provoked unwelcome online and offline criticism from other parents. Even her best friend was “shocked” that she had opted to put the children in the kids’ club so she could have a break.
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“My best friend of over 20 years was shocked when I told her we tried a kids club,” the content creator from Thunder Bay, Canada revealed. “[After sharing my video], I had people commenting that we were lazy and selfish for using the kids’ club. That type of feedback is exactly why parents hesitate to share these decisions openly because they know they’ll be judged before anyone understands the full context.”
She also explained that she was worried about what others would think before they went on holiday. “Even some family members expressed doubts and raised concerns about us using kids’ clubs before our vacation, especially around safety,” she said. “That only added to that pressure. It made the decision feel even heavier, like I had to defend the idea before we’d even tried it.”
On previous trips Kayla had felt too anxious to allow her two autistic children, Eli, five, and Vayda, four, out of her sight. But with the kids being a little older and more verbal, the “deeply tired and mentally drained” mum decided to try out a club on a holiday to Mexico in 2024.
One of the things that convinced her to give it a go, besides her exhaustion, was the set up. She said it had floor to ceiling windows that she could see into at any time which reassured her. When she walked past and saw her kids laughing and playing through the glass, she realised she could relax.
With the success of that holiday club, Kayla, 38 and her husband Aaron, 41, decided to investigate one on their next vacation, which was a cruise in February of this year. The couple thoroughly inspected the space used on board for the children, spoke to staff and checked out the activities available. They also made sure their kids were both comfortable there before booking them in.
Taking the plunge again proved to be another positive experience and the stressed parents made the most of their free time. “During the cruise, my husband and I got to have an actual adult conversation – from start to finish – for the first time in what felt like months,” she said.
“We laughed, went to a comedy show, and I even got time to myself at the spa. The kids’ club gave us time to breathe. That might sound simple, but as a mum, especially of two neurodivergent kids, breathing room is rare.”
As well as giving them a break, Kayla, who said she’s often judged when her children have meltdowns in public places because of sensory overload, explained the opportunity to relax and recharge helped improve her mental health. “I realised the kids were not only safe, they were having the best time, and I was able to return to them more present and patient,” she said. Kayla’s children now beg to go to the kids’ club on holiday before they’ve even unpacked their suitcases.
She is keen to start a wider conversation about parenting and why time alone shouldn’t be thought of as offloading children or a source of shame. “It’s about knowing your capacity and giving your kids the best of you, not what’s left of you,” she said. “We come back together recharged, not resentful. Everyone gets something out of it. Rest isn’t indulgent. It’s how I stay regulated and present with my children.”
She wants other parents to have confidence that they are the ones who know what works best for their children and not to doubt their parenting style or choices. “Choosing rest, when you need it, isn’t weakness – it’s how you teach your kids that everyone’s wellbeing matters. Including yours,” she asserts.
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