Stuart Brady and his wife were forced to tell their three children about their father’s terminal cancer diagnosis “without even having the full information ourselves”
The young daughter of a man who waited nine months to see a doctor with a host of concerning symptoms cried nine heartbreaking words following the devastating news of his terminal cancer diagnosis.
Stuart Brady, 42, from Dromara, Northern Ireland, started experiencing severe back pain, low mood, anxiety and changes to his bowel habits over several months between 2023 and 2024. The dad-of-three was able to speak with a GP over the phone in May 2024, when he was told his symptoms resulted from the nerve condition sciatica.
But the dad was unable to leave his house due to the pain and was forced to “put on a brave face” during his children’s birthday parties, so he booked a follow-up in-person appointment. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t see a GP in person until June 2024, and didn’t find out he had pancreatic cancer until it was too late.
Stuart’s widow, 38-year-old Michelle Brady, is urging people to be more persistent with their GPs after her husband, the father of Kayla, 13, Paige, nine, and Blake, four, died from the deadly cancer in September. Stuart was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and blood clotting in his legs and lungs a week after his in-person appointment – nine months after his pain started.
The diagnosis followed a scan during which a cancerous mass was discovered on top of his liver, and he was sent home with pain killers. Michelle, of Dromara, Co Down, Northern Ireland, said her husband was “very ill”, with his painful ordeal leaving his children “frightened”.
She said: “We didn’t know they were symptoms or were connected. Stuart was just so unwell and in such extreme pain he put on a brave face for Paige and Blake’s birthdays in May. He was hardly able to leave the house.” The mum continued: “Stuart was very ill. He had no energy, his skin was yellow. He was sweating profusely.”
The mum added that she “had no idea what to do”, with Stuart’s condition proving “very frightening for the children too”. She also opened up on the heartbreaking moment she and Stuart told their children about their father’s diagnosis “without even having the full information ourselves”. Once they told their children, nine-year-old Paige yelled cried seven devastating words from the top of their stairs.
She said: “We had to tell them about daddy’s cancer without even having the full information ourselves. One night, Stuart was in excruciating pain. The pain killers weren’t working. Paige, our middle child, stood at the top of our stairs crying saying ‘I don’t want daddy to have cancer.’
“I felt so helpless as a wife and a mother as I could do nothing to ease Stuart’s pain or Paige’s worry. I was exhausted trying to look after Stuart, advocate for him and keep things normal for the children, as well as having to be up during the night with Stuart.” Michelle described her late husband, who worked as a roofer, as having a “larger-than-life personality”.
She said: “He was one-of-a-kind, full of fun, and hilariously funny. Stuart had a special way with people. He was an amazing hands-on Dad too. The children were his pride and joy.” Now, Michelle is working with NIPANC, a Northern Ireland charity working to raise awareness of pancreatic cancer.
The charity got in touch with the family after Stuart was diagnosed with an infection six weeks post-diagnosis, putting her in touch with another woman who had gone through similar trouble. Michelle said: “I had never heard of the charity until this point. Within a couple of days Susan Cooke contacted me.
“She had lost her husband Colin to pancreatic cancer. It was the very first time I felt heard and understood. I can’t describe how helpful it was to speak to someone who knew what we were going through. NIPANC deposited £500 in our bank account to allow us to make special memories.
“We were referred for counselling support which NIPANC co-fund with Cancer Focus NI and a family photoshoot was organised. Stuart went into the hospice three days after the pictures were taken and died two weeks later.” A Department of Health NI spokesperson said: “Despite a challenging budget, significant progress has been made to deliver a wide range of key cancer strategy actions, which include two Rapid Diagnosis Centres (RDCs) delivering a vague symptoms pathway for people across the region, with vague but worrying symptoms which may be cancer.
“Northern Ireland was the first part of the UK to implement an optimal care pathway for pancreatic cancer patients following a partnership approach with Pancreatic Cancer UK and NI charity NIPANC. A directory of cancer support services has been developed to help signpost those impacted by a cancer diagnosis to support services in their area.
“Undoubtedly, there is more to be done, and additional founding is required, however, the cancer strategy is already starting to deliver benefits for cancer patients across Northern Ireland.”