Heidi Liddle broke down in tears and described the terrifying moment she hid from killer Axel Rudakabana to the Southport inquiry at a hearing in Liverpool Town Hall on Wednesday
A teacher has described the terrifying moment she hid from Southport killer Axel Rudakabana in a toilet with a child as he banged on the door trying to get in.
Heidi Liddle broke down in tears and described her “crushing” guilt to the Southport inquiry at a hearing in Liverpool Town Hall on Wednesday. In her impact statement the mum-of-two told how she had been returning to work after maternity leave when she was asked to be a guest dance teacher at the Taylor Swift-themed workshop on July 29 last year.
Rudakubana, 18, killed Alice da Silva Aguiar, nine; Bebe King, six; and Elsie Dot Stancombe, seven, in a horrific knife attack and attempted to murder eight other children and two adults, including dance teacher Leanne Lucas.
READ MORE: ‘My 14-year-old carved swastika into her head after being groomed by racists’READ MORE: Tragedy as woman’s body found in car park near popular Glasgow beauty spot
Ms Liddle recalled how she had been “filled with joy and happiness,” just before the attack, as she made bracelets with children in the room, moments before the worlds were “devastated”.
She said: “Suddenly, I saw my friend and colleague being brutally attacked. I couldn’t process what was happening. Everything happened so quickly – it was just a matter of seconds. At that moment, there was no time to think but to just run and usher as many children away from danger as possible.
“The children were running towards the stairwell, when I noticed one of the girls run in the opposite direction towards the toilet. I saw a flash of green and I pushed her inside and locked the door, reassuring her and telling her to be quiet.
“Whilst in the toilet, the perpetrator was banging and rattling the door, attempting to get in, only stopping when the police arrived. The girls’ screaming and fearing for our lives haunts me to this day.”
Ms Liddle said her “instinct” was to protect the girls, but said: “A part of me always questions if we could have done anything differently in those moments of terror.”
She added: “Although people have told me this incident is not my fault, the guilt I bear is crushing. I feel responsible. I tried so hard to usher as many children out as possible, to get them away from him.
“I constantly replay what happened over and over in my mind, what I was able to do, what else could I have done, the what ifs.”
She told how the terrible scenes she witnessed that day had impacted her life, describing her battle with daily flashbacks and how she struggled with ordinary tasks following the attack.
“I’m grieving for the girls and their families, the girls that were there that day, Leanne, police, responders, neighbours who opened their homes, the wider community but I’m also grieving for the old version of myself and my life,” she said.
“I cannot remember myself or my life before this. All I can remember is this current version of things – constantly re-living the events of the day, dealing with the overwhelming emotions and fears connected.”
She added: “My hope is that this inquiry will ensure that no one – neither adults or innocent children – ever have to go through the life-changing devastation that this evil individual was able to inflict on us that day.”
Leanne Lucas, who was stabbed multiple times during the attack, also gave evidence to the inquiry. She echoed Ms Liddle’s words, saying the room had been full of smiles, laughter, fun and love moments before the attack.
That changed to terror as Rudakubana walked into the room. “At that moment, I did not know what he was doing,” she recalled. “I shouted to him and to the girls for someone to indicate they knew him.
“That is when he came over to me. He began what I thought was punching me in the back. It was after the second blow when I knew ‘he’s got me’. It wasn’t until I saw blood I realised he was stabbing me.”
She described scenes of “bedlam” and “chaos” as she and Ms Liddle tried to push terrified children out of harm’s way.
“Not knowing where each child was in those moments is a fear that will live with me forever,” she said.My physical wounds have healed but the psychological scars remain raw.”
Ms Lucas said she had received “relentless” online abuse following the attack. She was in tears as she told the inquiry: “To some I am called a hero, to others a villain. The truth is, I am neither. I am just Leanne, the woman who did her best in an unthinkable situation.”
This first phase of the inquiry is expected to run until November and will examine Rudakubana’s history and his dealings with relevant agencies, along with any missed opportunities to prevent what happened.
The inquiry was adjourned until Thursday morning.