A war is waging online between generations over the Gen Z Stare. While Millennials blame a lack of social skills, Gen Z are blaming insufferable customer requests – but who is right?
Has your recent request for an extra napkin, complicated coffee order or even just polite ‘hello’ been met with a blank, listless stare of late? Don’t feel bad, it’s not you and you didn’t just murder someone’s dog. There’s now a name for it: the Gen Z Stare – and it’s causing a fierce intergenerational clash online.
Thousands of TikTok’s have been cropping up over the past month documenting the same phenomenon: being met with a stare by Gen Z employees after initiating simple social interaction. Some have even described it as witnessing a kind of ‘brain static’, as the Gen Z in question attempts to process the interaction. Others have described it as “rude” and “off-putting”.
In one viral TikTok, Riley Despot, a self-identified millennial, documented her experience with the stare after taking her daughter to a golf lesson. She attempted to thank the younger instructor for agreeing to teach her daughter. However, she said she was met with a blank look and a confused, “yeah?” in response.
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But, despite the criticism, younger Gen Z’s have been defending the stare: largely pointing to absurd customer requests and past trauma from “Boomers crashing out”. As one TikTok user puts it: “The gen Z stare is us thinking of a proper response that won’t get us fired.”
However, it’s not just a customer experience. Customer service workers are complaining that they’re also on the receiving end of the Gen Z stare from their patrons. @maybesantana explained: “The Gen Z stare is the stare that customer service workers receive instead of a response to anything.” She then used the example of asking a customer how they were doing and being met with an open-mouthed mildly-stunned look.
So, customer service workers and customers alike are documenting the same phenomenon. But what’s the cause? TikToks have been pointing to everything from social anxiety, to duress under late-stage capitalism, to bad parenting. Older Gen Z’s, or ‘zillenials’ (roughly those aged 26 to 31), have also distanced themselves from the phenomenon, claiming it’s a “younger Gen Z thing.”
One major theory floating around is that it’s related to the effects Covid pandemic. Gen Z who were still in secondary school during this time purportedly missed out on key social development milestones. TikTok user @tryingmayabest, herself a Gen Z, explained: “Young people spent a large portion of their formative years in isolation and our primary form of communication became texting… Not actually conversing with someone, but sending something out and waiting for a response.”
Tam Kaur, a leading Gen-Z self help expert and Forbes 30 under 30 honouree also believes that the Gen Z stare is a symptom of something deeper. She says: “We’re the first generation to grow up with our faces constantly on display in selfies, stories, video calls, with everything being scrutinised online. That creates a heightened sense of self-consciousness and a fear of being judged, even in the smallest interactions.
She adds that there is also increased pressure on women to appear polite. She says: “For many of us, especially women, it’s not that we’re rude or disengaged. It’s that we’re navigating social anxiety and burnout from living in hyper-visible digital spaces.”
“Previous generations didn’t have to think about how they looked from every angle or whether they sounded awkward saying hello, but Gen-Z’s do,” she continues. “Gen-Z’s face the real work in building that inner confidence so they’re not afraid to show up, make eye contact and connect, especially in customer-facing roles.
“Ultimately, the Gen-Z stare isn’t always about not having manners, it’s showcasing that some Gen-Zs need more time to grow in confidence than previous generations and that’s something we should make space to support.”
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