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Assisted dying campaigners have shared their emotional accounts of life with a terminal illness, as the Isle of Man is set to become the first place in the British Isles to legalise the practice
A woman living in constant pain from terminal cancer which is ‘eating away’ at her body has said legalising assisted dying would save thousands like her from a drawn out and horrific death.
Elise Burns, 51, was told she likely had just two years left to live when she was diagnosed with rapidly spreading breast cancer in June 2024. The cancer has since spread to her bones, liver and lungs, and causes her so much pain that some days she struggles just to breathe.
Elise told the Mirror: “On a bad day I can’t get out of bed, and I just have to lie in a dark room, and the pain is excruciating. But it’s, it’s not just pain, it’s difficulty breathing and exhaustion levels and all of those things.
“Obviously there is going to come a time where I have more bad days than good, and I’m terrified. I’m scared of what is around the corner, and it is only a matter of time.
“I want to know that there is an alternative to a long, drawn out, horrible, grizzly death, because I don’t know a single person that hasn’t had a horrible death due to serious illness, and I don’t want that for me. I just want to go out at a time of my choosing, when I am ready.”
Elise is sharing her story ahead of a crucial final vote on the Isle of Man’s assisted dying bill on Tuesday. Manx politicians are poised to pass the bill which would make it legally available residents of the island by 2027.
While Elise welcomes the legislation in the Isle of Man and hopes it will pave the way for the same law to be passed in England, she believes it will come too late for her here.
Asked what it would mean to see it become part of British law, Elise starts to cry. She said: “It would mean everything. To stop unnecessary pain and suffering for hundreds of thousands of people and their families.
“That would mean the world. I think it would be incredible. And I know it’s really scary, it’s so controversial. I get that, but I think nearly 75% of the public are behind this, and it’s time for change.
Opposers of assisted dying have raised concerns that vulnerable people could be coerced into ending their own life, and suggest the focus should instead be on improving palliative care in the UK.
But Amanda Clement-Hayes knows that even with the best palliative care, there comes a time when “there is nothing to live for”. She watched her father-in-law, Eddy, die in horrendous pain from bladder cancer last January.
In the weeks before his suffering ended, he begged his son ‘please kill me now’, Amanda recalls. She said: “He had fabulous palliative care but they could not stop the pain. [His son] Andy was sat kneeling, holding his hand, and my father-in law just shouted out, kill me now. Please kill me now.
“Andy will never forget that. It’s one of the last memories of his dad. All the years before, all the fun and fabulous times that they had and it’s really hard now to not just keep remembering that kill me now.” She added: “Eddy did not deserve that hideous end.”
Isle of Man campaigner Millie Blenkinsop-French also watched her son die “an excruciating death” when he lost his battle with skin cancer in 2021. The grieving mum said her son described the pain as being ‘eaten alive’ by the disease.
The 81-year-old said: “He was being eaten alive inside. He couldn’t even swallow towards the end.” Millie has been campaigning to change the law since 2014 and says to see more than a decade of campaigning come to fruition is emotional.
Hitting back at those who disagree with Bill, she said: “We need the right to be able to say I can’t take this anymore, enough is enough. It brings tears to my eyes because finally someone is listening and understands. Your life is never the same after watching your child go through that.”
Among other concerns over assisted dying are fears that if not properly controlled and managed by the NHS, private firms could stand to benefit from the practice.
Religious leaders have also raised grave concerns, claiming no-one should have the power to take life. And some of those from the medical community say they want to save and prolong life, not end it.
But Claire Macdonald, Director of assisted dying campaign My Death, My Decision, says 20 people a day are suffering at the end of their lives in the UK.
She said: “No one should be forced to die in pain. Even with the best possible care, 20 people a day are suffering at the end of their lives, and those people deserve choice, compassion and dignity. Instead, families are forced into horrifying, desperate and dangerous situations where they have no choice but to look on as the person they love dies in a harrowing way.”
“We are proud of the Isle of Man for making progress, and we hope politicians across the UK can take note. Our politicians are not pioneers when it comes to assisted dying, many other countries have created safe and working systems that give dying people the option of peaceful death – it’s about time we caught up with the rest of the world.”