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A dementia expert has urged primary caregivers to reach out for support following the tragic deaths of Hollywood megastar Gene Hackman and his wife Betsy Arakawa
Dementia patients often put themselves at risk without meaning to, an Alzheimer’s disease expert tells the Mirror.
Hollywood actor Gene Hackman, 95, was tragically found dead in his home in Santa Fe, New Mexico, on February 27, with his wife Betsy Arakawa, 65. It has since been revealed that the Oscar star had advanced Alzheimer’s which contributed towards his death. He died a week after Betsy passed away from a rare infectious disease.
The beloved couple, who were married for 24 years, lived a low-key and quiet life together in the mountains following Gene’s retirement from acting in 2008. The father-of-three went on to become an author and his classical pianist wife became his devoted full-time carer in his final years.
According to Dr Tim Beanland, head of knowledge and learning at Alzheimer’s Society, this is common in relationships where one person has Alzheimer’s. He told the Mirror: “It’s very common in a spousal or similar relationship for one person to take on the bulk of the caring – many people see it as a duty or something they signed up for.”
He said it can “place a huge strain on the carer and put the person with dementia at risk if the carer themselves becomes ill, or as here, worse”. After his passing, Gene’s daughter, Leslie, paid tribute to Betsy for “keeping him alive” and said they had a “wonderful marriage”.
She told Mail Online: “I give credit to his wife, Betsy, for keeping him alive. She took very, very good care of him and was always looking out for his health. I am appreciative to her for that, and I’m very saddened by her passing.”
Leslie said there was “no indication” that there was anything wrong with Gene before his death, and said he was in “good health” and liked to do Pilates and yoga several times a week. She added that because she lives in California, it had been a few months since she had last seen or heard from her father, who had become reclusive in the latter years of his life, but they were still “close”.
The couple’s long-time friend, Tom Allin, also said Betsy was “very protective of him” and without her care, Gene would have passed away much earlier. Tom shared, “She just really looked after him,” and Betsy was in charge of managing Gene’s medical appointments and maintaining his health.
Dr Beanland advised sole caregivers to seek other sources of support so the responsibility doesn’t fully fall on them. He said: “The ideal is a shared support network that includes other friends/family and professionals who are there to support the person and their primary carer.”
The dementia expert also shared that an Alzheimer’s diagnosis can commonly push families apart, though for some, it brings them close together. He explained: “Every family is different. Some people find that having a parent with dementia brings the family closer, but many more tell us about the strain it puts on relationships, whether these are played out in person or long-distance.
“Many adult carers may still be working and supporting their own children, and may feel pressured for time to support a parent with dementia. This often leads to feelings of guilt, made worse if it becomes in the person’s interests to be moved into a care home. Children of someone with dementia may also worry about whether they will inherit the condition, probably more than the evidence from genetic suggests they should.”
For more information and advice, call Alzheimer’s Society’s Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456 or visit alzheimers.org.uk.