The woman shared her upset after her friend’s revelation left her feeling ‘betrayed’
A woman feels ‘betrayed’ and ‘blindsided’ after her friend revealed the truth about her relationship. Posting on social media for advice, the woman explained she’s happily married now, but she’s been left upset by her friend’s revelation about a university relationship.
Her Mumsnet post claimed: “About 15 years ago, I briefly dated a guy from my uni friendship group. It lasted around 4–5 months, then fizzled out naturally. We stayed on friendly terms and still saw each other within the wider group.
“A few months later, he started going out with a friend of mine also part of the same group. I was genuinely happy for them, and we all stayed friends. They eventually got married. I’m married to someone else now and we still occasionally meet up.
“Fast forward to a few weeks ago: my friend (his wife) mentioned they were celebrating their anniversary. I was a bit confused, because I remember their wedding being in September (I was there). She seemed a bit flustered and said it was actually the anniversary of when they first got together. Which made me do the math and realise they must have gotten together while he and I were still going out. We were exclusive at the time.”
The revelation upset the woman, who has been left doubting her friends. She said: “It’s left me feeling a bit blindsided and betrayed. On the one hand, our relationship was short and everything worked out fine in the end. But on the other hand, I feel like if I’d known that at the time, I’d have cut ties with both of them. It’s kind of shaken how I see the friendship.”
As such, she wanted to know if she was being ‘unreasonable’ by feeling ‘a bit hurt by this’ and whether or not she should bring it up or ‘let it go as ancient history.’ In response, commenters had mixed views. Someone wrote: “This is ridiculous. You were all young, you were all just dating. There’s no betrayal here, just young people figuring things out. Don’t be such a bloody drama queen.”
Another viewer asked: “Did you not do anything that you’re less than proud of now, when you were younger? I look back at some of the things I did and cringe!! Some decisions I made literally haunt me. It’s called growing up, we all do it.”
A different response read: “Let it go, shocked you hadn’t worked it out before.” However, someone with a different reaction said: “Even though it is irrelevant now and happened many years ago, it was still a betrayal.
“And as you said, had you known at the time you wouldn’t have continued the friendship and they wouldn’t be part of your life all these years later.” A second said: “Not unreasonable, I’d ask her straight out, I’d ask him. If they confirmed it, I’d cut ties.”
Another said: “You found out your ex partner cheated on you with your friend. Then lied and pretended to get together after you split. Then continued that lie for 15 years.
“Firstly is it definitely correct, could friend have said wrong date? If it’s definitely true id be hurt by this op, it would be reasonable to message /speak and tell them how you feel but you may not get the resolution you want. Alternatively, you can walk away from the friendship.”