YouTube icons Dan and Phil have opened up over the impact of boundary-pushing fan behaviour after finally confirming a longstanding rumour over their relationship
Iconic YouTube duo Dan and Phil have delighted fans everywhere after confirming they were in a secret 16-year relationship. However, the pair also opened up over how their intense fandom had a detrimental effect on their personal lives – leaving many reckoning with the impact of parasocial behaviour.
Dan (34) and Phil (38) were YouTube sensations, snowballing in popularity throughout the 2010s as they posted vlogs, challenges and gaming videos together. They’ve been a little quieter over recent years, but their latest YouTube video has proved to be a bombshell.
In the 47-minute long YouTube video the pair came online to confirm a long-running rumour: they have been dating each other for the past 16 years. The Internet quickly rejoiced, as comment sections flooded with excited fans and some even claimed they were reaching out to friends they hadn’t spoken to in over a decade to share the news.
READ MORE: Jane Austen has audiobook revival as ‘yearning’ becomes the hottest dating trendREAD MORE: Sims 4 fans concerned over future of LGBTQ+ representation after EA buyout
However, segments of Dan and Phil’s video struck a darker chord. The pair admitted that the way a more rabid portion of their predominately young fanbase behaved put a strain on their career and relationship – to the point where it affected their mental health.
During the height of the pair’s popularity, the idea that the two were secretly dating became a popular fan theory. Viewers created a “ship name” for the duo known as “Phan” and drew sexualised artwork, penned lurid fanfics and flooded their comments sections with observations about their supposed relationship.
While Dan and Phil emphasised that they weren’t calling out all of their fans, they said that there were some who took the rumours way too far, leaving them feeling completely objectified. “It’s almost as if people are no longer interested in the real you,” Dan said.
Meanwhile, Phil described how “disheartening” it was to put so much effort into a video only for the comments to be speculating over his and Dan’s relationship.
But despite the intensity of the rumours, the pair kept their romance a secret. Dan explained that this was partly because they didn’t want to become known as the “gay couple show”. Nor did he want their relationship to become something they were selling to their audience.
However, it also ran deeper. Dan admitted that he grew up in a homophobic environment, which made it difficult for him to accept his own sexuality. “In my mid-twenties I felt like I had to hide the relationship because I was still hiding who I was to my friends, family and myself,” he said.
For more stories like this subscribe to our weekly newsletter, The Weekly Gulp, for a curated roundup of trending stories, poignant interviews, and viral lifestyle picks from The Mirror’s Audience U35 team delivered straight to your inbox.
“Which is why all of the digging from people online hit a nerve – because Phil was my safe space,” Dan said. According to Dan, many fans became hostile when he refused to admit to the rumours because he was ruining their “show”.
He said: “Having all of these people try to out us and being so hostile to me when I tried to hide it was so triggering. Honestly, it could have killed me.”
Their transparency over their experience with their crazed fanbase has left many online reflecting over their own parasocial behaviour. Amongst many comments saying “they knew” all along, others have acknowledged that the pair’s relationship really isn’t their business.
“You didn’t ever have to announce this. We aren’t owed anything. But clearly it’s something you’ve done for yourselves and it’s that much more special. Proud of you for taking care of yourselves first and setting a good example of boundaries,” one wrote.
“After all the internet has done to you guys, this was probably really scary to publish. So happy for you. I hope you guys get the peace and love you deserve,” another added.
Help us improve our content by completing the survey below. We’d love to hear from you!