In his new documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, the iconic musician recounts a dark chapter of his early life marked by heartbreak, betrayal, and two suicide attempts
Music legend Billy Joel has revealed he attempted suicide twice in his early twenties, following a turbulent affair with a friend’s wife that left him in a coma. The revelations are featured in the new documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes , where the 76-year-old speaks candidly about the events that drove him to the brink.
The affair began while Joel was living with his bandmate Jon Small, Jon’s wife Elizabeth Weber, and their child. Joel and Weber grew close, with Elizabeth describing their relationship as a “slow build.” She would later marry Joel, with the couple together from 1973 to 1982.
Joel, who has recently been diagnosed with brain cancer, eventually confessed his feelings to Small. “I was in love,” he said. The fallout was immediate and painful. “I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker. I was just in love with a woman and I got punched in the nose which I deserved,” he admitted. “Jon was very upset. I was very upset.”
The confrontation ended their band, Attila , and destroyed the men’s friendship. Weber left, and Joel’s mental health deteriorated rapidly. “I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats and I was depressed I think to the point of almost being psychotic,” he said. “So I figured, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.’”
Joel’s sister, Judy Molinari, who was working as a medical assistant at the time, had given him sleeping pills to help him rest. “But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them… he was in a coma for days and days and days,” she recalled tearfully. “I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him.”
Even after recovering, Joel considered another attempt. He drank a bottle of lemon Pledge and was rushed to the hospital by Small. “Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,” Joel reflected.
Small later forgave him. “The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much,” he said.
Following his second suicide attempt, Joel checked himself into a psychiatric observation ward. The experience, he said, reshaped his life. “I got out… and I thought to myself, you can utilise all those emotions to channel that stuff into music.”
Joel would go on to become one of the best-selling artists of all time but his pain would ultimately become the source of his greatest art. His biggest hits include Piano Man, New York State of Mind, and Just The Way You Are.
If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch.
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