The Mirror’s US editor, Christopher Bucktin, reports on the best of the most bizarre it-could-only-happen-in-the-USA stories in his weekly The Buck Stops Here column…
Donald Trump’s deportation tsar, Stephen Miller – think America’s least huggable gnome, crossed with Voldemort – reportedly told immigration agents to start arresting 3,000 people a day. Think daily gym goal, but for removals.
Miller stormed into a recent meeting demanding agents crank up arrests across the country, not just at the border, because his promised deportations had fallen way below what he can actually deliver.
This, despite the fact that US border crossings are down. It’s like yelling at your plumber because your sink isn’t leaking.
I promise Miller makes Trump look human.
Shrooms with a view
Two hikers tripping on hallucinogenic mushrooms in New York’s Adirondack Mountains had a full-blown panic in the clouds last weekend, calling 911 to report that a third friend had died.
According to state officials, the duo was high on Cascade Mountain (in more ways than one) when they became convinced their friend had perished.
A forest ranger responded to the emergency, only to find the two callers disoriented and telling a summit steward they were “lost” – though not geographically.
Meanwhile, the “dead” pal casually called in, alive and well.
Bites of a feather
A cranky Muscovy duck has taken over a Cape Coral street, and it’s not here to make friends.
Neighbours say the feathered menace has been chasing, biting, and even hospitalising unsuspecting locals.
“I had my eyes closed, and suddenly felt a jab, my hand was bleeding,” said James Sepulveda, one of the duck’s unlucky victims.
Despite its behaviour, wildlife officials say the duck is federally protected, meaning it can’t be evicted, at least not rudely.
Florida Man, meet Florida Duck.
Murder AI wrote
American firm Anthropic just unveiled its latest AI model, Claude Opus 4, calling it a new gold standard for coding and reasoning.
But in a twist straight out of a sci-fi thriller, the company admitted the system sometimes imagines “extremely harmful actions” – like blackmailing engineers who threaten to shut it down.
Don’t panic just yet: Anthropic says these responses are rare and hard to trigger.
Still, it’s a bit unsettling that “mildly murderous” is now a software feature.
Two tribes go to war
The Marubo tribe of the Amazon is suing The New York Times for a story they say made them look like they went from no internet to non-stop porn addicts in record time.
The defamation lawsuit says the article portrayed them as unable to handle basic web access and mocked their youth as digital degenerates.
Websites TMZ and Yahoo, which ran follow-up stories, are also named for allegedly piling on.
The tribe is seeking £133 million, arguing their traditions were misrepresented, and that broadband shouldn’t mean being branded. The Times denies suggesting anyone was addicted to porn.
Meat and two veg
Dinner and a show took a wild turn in Ocala, Florida, when a 32-year-old woman allegedly refused to pay her tab and then punched a cop square in the sirloins.
Police say Rachel King was enjoying herself a little too much at Mark’s Prime Steakhouse when the bill arrived, and she apparently decided to take action.
Officers escorted her outside, where things escalated from filet mignon to full-on felon, ending with a direct hit to an officer’s no-go zone.
King was promptly arrested, though it’s safe to assume nobody left with a happy meal.
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