Millions of people fall victim to dementia every year, with the cognitive condition shaking up the way we feel, remember and process our thoughts. And this case is no exception
A father’s dementia diagnosis has apparently opened up a can of worms in his family – sparking quite the controversy online.
Millions of people fall victim to dementia every year, with the cognitive condition shaking up the way we feel, remember and process our thoughts. This can take a detrimental toll on the mental of health its sufferers and their families too, as daily life is flipped upside down.
And one ’29-year-old’ is certainly included in this, sharing the heart-crushing discovery he made in the midst of his dad’s diagnosis. The anonymous Reddit user explained it had been an ‘extremely emotional time’, with his father also recently undergoing multiple heart surgeries and suffering a stroke.
This left him with small vessel disease and vascular dementia, with the family now looking to ‘move forward as a unit’ to provide the most care possible. As part of this, the writer planned to move back in with his mum and sister, so they could make memories together before his health declined even further.
But these plans were wrecked when the Redditor discovered something rather strange. He explained: “While resetting his watch one evening, I noticed him swiping and deleting messages, which made me suspicious because he doesn’t have many friends outside our immediate family.
“While accessing his recently deleted messages, I discovered a long message chain from the past month with a prostitute handler, including pictures of different girls and locations to meet them. I also accessed his brokerage account and found only $66,000 remaining, with several withdrawals of $3,000 since last summer – before his surgeries and recent diagnosis.”
Completely rattled by this, the writer added his dad ‘was a good father’, but hadn’t always been a good husband or family member over the years. His mum had always been the breadwinner of the family, while his dad spent the money as if it were solely his, ‘never allowing her the comfort of treating herself’.
The writer had even found the pair screaming at each other over this very issue in the past. Controversially, he continued: “I warned them to make it work or face consequences from me, a stance that has caused long-standing guilt, as it only increased my mom’s resentment.
“…I feel like an absolute train wreck. Given his recent diagnosis, I’m conflicted about his remaining cognitive abilities. My plan is to confront him privately about what I discovered and then insist that he be the one to inform my mother, putting the decision-making power in her hands.
“I would appreciate any guidance, feedback, or questions that can help me navigate through this difficult situation.”
Following his plead for help, the Reddit post has racked up countless gobsmacked comments. Though, many were more angered by the son’s threat of ‘consequences’, than the dad’s actions.
One person wrote: “What I don’t understand is why your parents actually listened to you, a kid in his 20s, when you threatened them with ‘consequences’ if they didn’t make the relationship work. What consequences did you threaten, to make two fully-functioning adults with careers and lives of their own, to stay together when perhaps they didn’t even plan to?”
Another responded to this, writing: “Yeah dude same. The whole post I was like damn. What an amazing son, very responsible. Oh lame, disowning miserable parents… Dad’s banging hookers. Mom is miserable. Let ’em go.”
Amid this, the original Redditor tried to defend his actions, clarifying: “When I was home from college visiting them they were shouting and fighting as they always did and I lashed out. I yelled at both of them, told them to get their s*** together or they’d lose me too.
“Things were quieter but not necessarily better after that. My mom brought that scenario up recently (past year) when I asked why she had never divorced my father.” But his comments still didn’t seem to impress the masses.
One person wrote: “You have enabled your father‘s poor behaviour with your ultimatum. You allowed him to continue his dysfunction and forced your mother into resentment where she had to drag along this dead weight of a spouse.”
Another added: “I thought you seemed pretty decent right up until the last part. In a way you are just as bad as your dad.”
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