Donald Trump says he’ll rename the Gulf of Mexico and won’t rule out invading Greenland

Hey, remember those days in early 2017 when everyone was all like “he…can’t do that, can he?” Well strap yourselves in and prepare to buy a new map, because those days are well and truly back.

Donald Trump says he will rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, and we’re almost certain he’s not kidding.

And he also didn’t rule out using the US military to invade Greenland and seize the Panama Canal, as he declared US control of both to be vital to American national security.

The convicted felon and US President-elect gave a press conference today at his Mar-A-Lago resort in Florida, where he did his usual meandering journey through vaguely related ramblings.

But one announcement seemed to stick out from the mumble. He said he was going to redraw everyone’s maps.

The Gulf of Mexico is an ocean basin that forms much of the southeastern coast of America, and the eastern Mexican coast.

It’s been called that for more than 400 years – not unreasonably, given for quite a lot of that time Texas was part of Mexico, so more of the coastline was Mexican than anything else.

“I’m not going to commit to that,” he said, when asked if he would rule out invading Greenland, an autonomous territory of Denmark, a longtime US ally and a founding member of NATO.

“It might be that you’ll have to do something. The Panama Canal is vital to our country.” He added, “We need Greenland for national security purposes.”

Trump has also floated having Canada join the United States, but he said he would not use military force to do that, saying he would rely on “economic force.”

Promising a “Golden age of America,” Trump also said he would move to try to rename the Gulf of Mexico as the “Gulf of America,” saying that has a “beautiful ring to it.”