Beautiful, ambitious and spinning plates seemingly with ease, Fearne Cotton is well aware that sometimes the fast pace of life can take its toll. And the former radio DJ, 43, has certainly had a turbulent few months. She shared a health update at the beginning of last December, revealing she had undergone an operation to remove two benign tumours from her jaw. Then, just days later, the 43-year-old announced her shock split, after 10 years of marriage, from husband Jesse Wood, 48, father to her children Rex, 11, and Honey, nine.
Today, as she opens up during a chat with wellness brand Ancient + Brave, with whom her hit podcast Happy Place has joined forces, Fearne talks about finding the balance between her natural energy and making time for self-care, as well as admitting she wishes she’d have been kinder to herself back in the day…
Hi, Fearne! You have lotsgoing on. Do you see value ina fast-paced life, and when does it start to take its toll?
Such a mind-blowing question, because I know that I’m naturally drawn to living in quite a fast way. I love talking about wellbeing and looking after yourself but I know that I’ve got a desire to constantly do the next thing. I feel really excited about what’s coming next. I am ambitious and I don’t like to pretend otherwise, but I also love being an engaged parent and seeing all the milestones, so it does feel overwhelming and I think it does take its toll.
Do you recognise it in yourself,when things start to taketheirtoll?
I used to be completely unaware of how I was feeling and pushed myself and pushed myself and that probably comes down to not being very kind to myself back in the day. I think, with age, I’ve wanted to be kinder to myself and treat myself with [more] respect. So, I’m on that learning curve. Again, I haven’t nailed it but I do feel in my forties so much more able to go, “Oh this isn’t feeling great,” and I need to change something.
What do you think it means to be truly happy?
I like this question, obviously because of Happy Place , and it’s quite a loaded title, because I don’t think it’s an end destination – it’s very much up for debate. The old model of happiness for me was this ginormous roller coaster of having these huge highs but definitely believing that it lived in the future, that it was this other iteration of me that was better and more liked and more successful and respected. I learnt that one the hard way because you reach a milestone and you get whatever the accolade is and you go, “Oh no, I’ve brought myself, I’m still here and I haven’t changed. I thought there would be a new one of me when I got here and it’s just me still,” and it’s really irritating. So, I don’t pin my happiness on that so much any more.
How have you changed then?
I still have goals but I don’t believe that I’m going to be a different version of me at the end of it. So I think happiness now is really hard to articulate but it’s something about feeling very alive and engaged with what’s going on around me. I know when I’m not feeling good I check out and I’m just going through the motions. I think the thing that’s changed my levels of happiness over the years is how much I like myself, and when I really didn’t like myself. We all have moments of self-loathing, but when that was really ruling the show, it’s so hard to feel happy when you don’t like yourself. Now I’m so much more comfortable in who I am and what I want to say. It’s so much easier to feel good because you believe you’re a bit more deserving of it.
What does being brave mean to you?
Being brave has something to do with being authentic, and that word is so overused that it’s almost sort of meaningless now, but I do believe it takes absolute courage to act authentically and to be completely yourself without outside influence, without the fear that people are judging you and being disliked. That’s a big one for me because I’ve had a job in the public eye for the entirety of my adult life and some of my childhood – there was so much weight in people liking me and it felt almost like a currency. So, I think for me, bravery at this point in life feels like a peeling back of layers. How can I be more me and not worry if I walk away today and people in this room didn’t like me, or thought I was talking nonsense? Because it doesn’t actually matter at the end of the day.
Are there moments where youhavedoubted the paththatyou’re on?
Oh yeah, huge chunks of my life – and I don’t think you’re aware of it when you’re in it but something feels off. And then I think retrospectively you can think, “I don’t know what I was doing there,” and I was stumbling through life without a clue. That’s not to say I’m on a clear path now. I always like to leave room for, “I didn’t think I was going to go down here, this is interesting.”
How do you reclaim your balance?
With my kids a bit older, I feel I’m in a new era. It’s simple things like walking – if I’m back-to-back recording or I’m on a writing deadline, if I can get an hour’s walk at some point in the day where I just listen to really beautiful music, it makes me feel really happy. That is usually enough to just reset me somewhat. What I’m trying to do now is go “no”, I need to schedule in a bit of fun and let loose a little bit. That for me is balance because the balance had tipped the other way for me where everything was a schedule. Having joyful moments of fun with people that I love is something that I’m really getting back and it feels so good. It does mean that some mornings are chaos in my house because I’m like, “Oh God, I definitely went to bed too late and I’m definitely a bit tired.” But there’s got to be room for mess, problems, failure, hangovers and eating bad food occasionally, so fun is becoming a tonic for me at the moment.
What are the key tools in your personalwellbeing toolkit?
Moving my body when I can – doesn’t have to be anything wild. Actually it’s getting less and less wild as I get older. Walking, painting, seeing friends, having a laugh, and therapy – therapy has changed my life, it’s been very important to me and something I’m still very dedicated to. Even if it’s just a good friend that can listen to you. I absolutely use and abuse my friends in that way and I hope they do for me too. I’m not trying to fix anyone, they’re not trying to fix me, but just having someone that listens to you can be enough.
How did you discover Ancient + Brave and why did you choose to work with the brand?
I think my first awareness of Ancient + Brave was, like all good things, on social media and looking at the delightful packaging! As someone who is hugely interested in wellness, I love trying new things. I love learning about supplements, and I love learning about how we can take care of ourselves. I don’t know what the first product I tried was, it might have been the Cacao + Reishi, and I still love that one. It’s an ultimate favourite and very versatile. In terms of working the lovely partnership with Happy Place , we’re just very simply on the same page. We want to try to do some positive things and put some goodness out there.
True Ashwagandha and True Magnesium+ have become an essential part of Ancient + Brave’s toolkit for balance and resilience. How have these become part of your daily life?
I’ve always been pretty rigid with taking supplements and making sure that I’m fuelling my body in the best way. These particular products for me are all about feeling calm and balanced; I’m not the sort of person who needs geeing up or energising ever. I need to wind down, so anything I can find that helps aid a sense of calm and grounding is what I’m headed towards.
