Katrin Maslenkova, 31, has opened up on the struggles she has faced due to her vaginismus and has explained how she overcame them, before starting to help other women do the same
A woman with a rare condition has said that having sex felt like “a glowing red hot knife” and doctors told her it would only get better after having children.
Katrin Maslenkova suffers from vaginismus – a condition that causes the vaginal muscles to involuntarily tighten during penetration, which can lead to pain and discomfort. The 31-year-old, known as Katrin with Love on social media, was reduced to tears following a medical professional’s claim she would not get better until she had a child and gave birth naturally.
Being single at the time, Katrin was unsure she would be able to cultivate a healthy long-term relationship and getting pregnant seemed out of the question, since she felt so much pain when having sex. And after being told by an ultrasound technician that “it’ll get better after you have kids”, Katrin decided to prove the doctor wrong.
Originally from Bulgaria and now living in Toronto, Canada, Katrin said that even where some penetration was possible, it felt like a glowing red hot knife being inserted into the most tender part of the body. But despite her health challenges, the Sexual Liberation Mentor has now overcome vaginismus and has claimed her erotic freedom.
Katrin became aware of her condition at 18 years old when attempts to lose her virginity with her then-boyfriend ended in tears and frustration during sex, contributing to the breakdown of the relationship. At this point, Katrin took control of her situation and her journey to sexual liberation began.
She tried for six years to use dilators, gradually increasing in size tools meant for practising self-penetration, but she felt like she was “raping herself” by not giving herself the time for the emotional healing she needed. “Something that delayed my own sexual liberation was making the mistake of poking at my wounds too early,” said Katrin.
“Literally pressing on my vaginal opening with a dilator when I was not yet emotionally ready for it to be inside was not a good idea. I was not ready to be penetrated by the painful memories of my past, but I forced the dilator inside of myself anyway.
“I want people to know that each time you lay in bed, attempting penetration, if you haven’t been addressing your emotional wounds and especially if you’re gritting your teeth through physical pain, you’re not effectively dilating. Despite your best efforts to help yourself, you’re actually reliving that painful pelvic exam, or that disappointing attempt at sex when you tried to hide your tears from your partner. And the emotional wounds grow instead of shrinking, deepening the cycle of pain.”
Using a holistic approach and following what she now calls her three pillars, Katrin overcame the protective body response of vaginismus and through her online membership and private mentorship services now offers support to other women who are undergoing the same issues. The three pillars include the emotional pillar – Compassionate Emotional Processing, the erotic pillar – discovering Your Authentic Sexual Self and the physical pillar – Physical Release and Relaxation, which are effective only in combination with a Nervous System Reset.
Through this holistic approach, Katrin overcame vaginismus, despite her doctor’s guidance at the time being “nowhere close to detailed enough and only focusing on the physical.” She said: “After all, penetrative sex is one of the most vulnerable things you can engage in, especially as a woman.”
Katrin and her partner are looking to have a baby together in the next few years and conceive naturally. “I have always wanted to be a mother as early as comfortably possible in my life so falling pregnant in a few years would be wonderful,” she said.
Katrin shared that many of her clients have been told that they may never be able to conceive naturally, because “vaginismus is something they’ll just have to live with” and that they should look at alternative pregnancy options instead. But she begs to differ from the doctors as she feels pregnancy doesn’t need to be an issue for those experiencing vaginismus, giving hope to many women.
Katrin now dedicates her time to growing her Vaginismus Sister community and supporting fellow vaginismus sisters to create a sex life without limitations. “I believe that it’s 100 per cent possible to overcome vaginismus, so I don’t agree that vaginismus is something to just ‘manage’ or live with through life,” said Katrin.
She said that through her work, she has forged important connections and has helped many women who were going through similar struggles as her. She explained: “As well, through our efforts of deepening our connection I learned a lot more about relationship dynamics and maintaining the spark in a long-term connection, through the challenges of life.
“And that is also what I bring into my work to support couples in maintaining a fulfilling relationship over time.” Katrin created a free book when she first started her journey for her vaginismus sisters community which she wrote and self-published, and is now planning to write another book with more detail.
