A mother-of-two has reached out to ask for help after sharing a shocking secret from her past that she fears is directly impacting her approach to her own children
A mother-of-two has shared a shocking secret from her past, and admits it directly impacts the way she parents her own two children.
The woman has confessed that she had a sexual relationship with her brother when she was 17 and he was 18 – which she instigated. And now she is so worried that ‘history will repeat itself’ she can’t bring herself to leave her young children alone together.
The incest with her sibling began as ‘naive, teenage experimentation’ which turned into a sexual relationship, and lasted until the woman left home.
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In a letter to The Sun’s agony aunt, she said they were both aware it was socially unacceptable and against the law, and felt ashamed of what happened.
“I can’t explain it, except to say that we were brought up in a strictly religious household where sex was considered to be a sin,” she said. “Neither of us was allowed to date or go out to parties and the like. We were also exceptionally close, perhaps because we were so near to each other in age, without many friends.”
The woman is now 39 and married with two children aged six and four, while her brother is still single. Neither have ever told a soul about their secret – and while they are still in touch they do not speak about the past.
The mum admitted that she didn’t “dwell” on what happened until her daughter became a toddler and started “interacting” with her brother.
Now she’s ‘terrified’ of what could happen between them, and keeps her kids apart, making them play alone in their rooms.
She went to share that her husband has started to notice her behaviour and that she’s worried she is harming her children’s normal development. The mum has pleaded for help on what to do.
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In response, agony aunt Sally Land praised the woman for being brave enough to admit what happened and to ask for help.
“You’re not a bad person. Clearly you love your children and don’t want to damage them. But, as you’re aware, it’s important they are allowed to interact normally,” she wrote.
“What occurred between you and your brother was unusual – though not unheard of – and it’s very unlikely history will repeat itself, especially if your children aren’t brought up in the strictly religious way you were. It sounds like you may be more traumatised by what happened – and more guilty about it – than you’d allowed yourself to believe.”
She then urged the woman to reach out to people who can help, suggesting she reach out in confidence to the NSPCC and try counselling to help her come to terms with her past.
If you are affected by this story, please contact NSPCC by calling 0808 800 5000 or emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk
