Alexandra Hams’ life turned upside down after she noticed a lump on her two-year-old son’s body while giving him a bath. After 11 months of searching for an answer, the family received a shock diagnosis
A mum has recalled the moment her whole life turned upside down when she spotted something unusual going on with her little boy.
After giving her two-year-old son Rafferty a bath, Alexandra was moisturising her son when she noticed a small lump on his bottom. Knowing that it was unusual for her son, Alexandra, 40, took Rafferty to see a GP in January 2023 and he was given an ultrasound two weeks later following a referral. However, it wasn’t until almost a year later that she discovered the reason for the mysterious lump. Her beloved son had a rare form of cancer.
“Rafferty was sent for a two-week referral, following his ultrasound, and this appointment wasn’t coming through quick enough,” she says. “I called the hospital and was told that the referral letter was sitting on a consultant’s desk waiting to be reviewed. This was when we decided to go private to speed things up. The consultant we saw suggested I take him to A&E to get some quicker answers.”
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As she nervously waited for results, Alexandra took Rafferty to A&E for another scan and was told he had a benign tumour, but no biopsy was arranged. However, as the lump kept growing, reaching the size of a grape, Rafferty’s family kept on with their search for an answer.
Following months of appointments, scans, tests and specialist referrals, Alexandra’s “mother’s instinct” kept telling her that something was wrong. After pushing for answers, an ultrasound in November 2023 followed by an MRI and biopsy in December uncovered the sad news that Rafferty had a fibromyxoid sarcoma, a malignant tumour that develops in connective tissues.
In the UK, 15 people are diagnosed with sarcoma every day. According to Cancer Research UK, symptoms of soft tissue sarcomas include: a lump that’s painless at first, a lump that’s getting bigger or pain or tenderness as the lump increases in size.
“I didn’t know what sarcoma was at the time,” Alexandra reveals. “It took a whole year to get a confirmed diagnosis. I just felt like I couldn’t rest, because I knew something wasn’t right. It’s a mother’s instinct. Part of me felt quite relieved when we finally got a diagnosis because I felt as though I’d gone a bit mad in that year, pushing and pushing for answers, and there’s only so much you can do as a parent.
“We put our trust in the system and when I felt it let us down slightly that year – if they had picked up on it a bit sooner, then it wouldn’t have been a year of appointments. It was a mix of emotions but we were relieved that we had a diagnosis that was confirmed, and we could process it and deal with what was coming.”
Although she was “relieved” to finally have an answer for the past 11 months of uncertainty, hearing the diagnosis was, understandably, heartbreaking for Alexandra and her family. “We were heartbroken because he’s so little and you automatically think the worst,” she adds. “We were utterly devastated and left to process the unimaginable but through the fear and heartbreak, we had to find the strength to focus on what came next.”
Following the shock diagnosis, in January 2024 Rafferty had an operation to have his tumour removed at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore. “The days leading up to Rafferty’s surgery were filled with a mix of hope and anxiety,” his mum explains.
“Those moments, though incredibly difficult, reminded us of the resilience we didn’t know we had. It stuck with us for a while. I don’t think anything like this ever really leaves you.
“At the hospital, you’re seeing all of these children that are having chemo and what they’re going through and it’s heartbreaking. We felt almost guilty seeing what other families are going through, and you’re suddenly in it. You have a feeling of ‘oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening to me’.”
Despite all that he was going through, Rafferty’s positivity shone through and lived by the motto ‘be good, be brave, be strong’. His operation was a success and now aged four, Rafferty is under the care of The Royal Marsden Hospital where he has regular scans and checks.
More than a year on, Alexandra is keen to raise more awareness of sarcoma and is taking on the London Marathon on Sunday April 27 to raise money for charity Sarcoma UK. “I want to raise awareness, because family members, friends, none of us had heard of sarcoma, and I just really don’t think the word is out there enough,” she says.
“Running the London Marathon has always been a dream of mine, but I never had a reason so close to my heart, until now. Every step I take during training and every mile I run on race day will be for Rafferty, for other children and families battling sarcoma, and for hope – the hope that one day we will have better treatments, earlier diagnoses and perhaps even a cure. It’s good to do something good and give back if I can.”
With it taking almost a year for her son to be diagnosed, Alexandra has some words of advice for parents who may be going through something similar. “I also want to tell other parents to trust your gut, and to check your children for lumps and things, and if you’re unsure, don’t hesitate,” she says.
“At the beginning, I actually apologised to the doctors and said ‘I’m really sorry, should I be here?’ Don’t hesitate if you’re unsure. If you’re worried about something, always check, and always go to the GP.”
Kerry Reeves-Kneip, Director of Fundraising and Communications at Saroma UK, says: “We are deeply grateful to Alexandra for running the London Marathon and helping us support brave children like Rafferty. Rafferty’s rare cancer journey reminds us why continued investment in sarcoma research is so vital.
“His story highlights the critical need for faster, more precise diagnosis. Rafferty experienced months of uncertainty before his sarcoma was identified – a delay that underscores the importance of our ongoing research to improve early detection and treatment that offer hope to families facing this challenging journey.”
To donate to Alexandra’s fundraiser, visit justgiving.com/page/alexandra-runningforraff
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