A dad has claimed that telling your child they must share isn’t always effective, so instead, parents should opt for a different approach that teaches them about empathy
Growing up, we were often encouraged by our parents and teachers to share everything from snacks to toys both at home and in the classroom.
But as adults reflecting back, we probably realise we didn’t have much say in the matter – sharing was simply expected of us as a sign of good manners and fairness.
However, one dad online is shaking things up by suggesting it’s time we ditch forcing kids to share. Instead, he has proposed a brilliant alternative method that teaches good behaviour while allowing kids to make a voluntary choice.
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Darius Ryan-Kadem, a father and author known for his savvy TikTok tips on navigating common parenting hurdles, has hailed the benefits of teaching your children empathy rather than just commanding them to share.
Giving an example, he highlighted a scenario where his daughter was enjoying swing time in the park when they noticed a tearful boy who appeared to be upset because the swings were occupied, reports Bristol Live.
He said: “I didn’t tell her what I thought, instead I asked her what she thought.”
Picking up social cues, his little girl inferred that the boy was probably eager for a turn on the swing too. The father said: “This means she understands someone else’s needs by reading their non-verbal cues.”
Darius revealed his unique parenting approach when he chose not to directly command his daughter off the swing but instead gave her a chance to act on empathetic grounds. He explained: “I didn’t push – I wanted her to consciously make a choice based on empathy, not my command.”
Fortunately for the waiting boy, another swing soon became available. Despite this, the youngster didn’t appear too thrilled about finally getting his turn on the swings.
Darius added: “Imagine I commanded her that she must share, and took her off the swing. She would have been robbed of the opportunity to understand empathy and read other people’s non-verbal cues.”
He believes that forced sharing can undermine ‘true’ empathy, saying: “Sharing as a result of external commands lacks a genuine understanding or consideration for others’ needs or feelings.”
Darius’s technique was met with admiration in the comments section, with one fan saying: “I appreciate that you also ask if she wants to do anything about it but not force her. It’s not always up to her to accommodate or take care of other people’s feelings.”
Another wrote: “I wish I could drill this into people’s heads. Being forced to share things only taught me that my personal wants and needs didn’t matter and that I don’t truly own anything of mine.”
And a third said: There should be training seminars for new parents, and this is how it should be taught.”
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