After parting ways after nine years together, former couple Moon Onyx Starr and Cyrus Starr decided to remain best friends, and any new partners have to be comfortable with their enduring platonic bond
While many couldn’t imagine being best friends with their ex, Moon Onyx Starr describes former partner Cyrus Starr as her “ride or die”.
Much like divorced pair Yin and Gaz from the new season of Race Across The World, Moon and Cyrus have worked to build a platonic friendship after splitting up, and they also celebrate their “nonversary” together each year. The former couple even have matching tattoos, and, although some of Cyrus’ subsequent girlfriends haven’t been best pleased by the set-up, they haven’t ruled out jetting off together on holiday for their own adventure as a duo.
Moon, 41, first locked eyes with “confident and charismatic” Cyrus in 2013, while staying in London with a pal. At the time, Moon, who’d been living in India, was going through a divorce and had planned to spend the summer travelling around the UK and Europe to put the stress behind her.
Cyrus, who is nearly five years younger than Moon, happened to be living in the same building as her friend and was “smitten” the moment he saw a photograph of her. The feeling was mutual, and within just a few short days of Moon touching down in London, they were dating.
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Within one month, they were living together, with London-born Moon choosing to move back to the English capital for her new beau. In retrospect, Moon feels they never really got the chance to know each other before taking such a huge leap. Discussing this “premature” and “unconventional” decision with the Mirror, Moon reflected: “We were learning about each other after we had already moved in together.”
They shared a home for nine years in total, starting off in Angel before moving on to a place in Mayfair. There were good times, with the unconventional pair even choosing to change their names together. However, there were also plenty of “ups and downs”, with their “personality clashes” and “differences” becoming more apparent as they learned about each other.
Moon and Cyrus’ “love and passion for each other” held their relationship together for many years, but when the pandemic hit, and usual life hit pause, they realised they could no longer “sweep their problems under the rug”. It was through ‘headling work’ that she was able to part ways on “good terms”.
Self-empowerment expert and speaker Moon recalled: “My now ex also loved how I was taking that positive attitude and outlook on everything. He was really touched and inspired that this was how I was handling it, and so he was on board to move forward in a very mature and amicable way. What we realised, you know, after nine years of being together, like we had such a passionate ride or die relationship, and we’re like, why should this just end?
“Just because we’re ending romantically doesn’t mean this connection and bond that we share has to end. So we decided that we are gonna be always there for one another.”
Naturally, there were a few challenges to face in those early post-relationship days. Having become so very attached, Moon and Cyrus spent the first year “talking and meeting all the time” while remaining “overly dependent”.
They eventually realised this was unhealthy and, although “it hurt at the time,” chose to create some distance. Now, three years on, they chat on the phone every few days and usually meet up in person once every few weeks. Although Moon and Cyrus don’t enforce any particular rules, and will meet up more frequently if they want to, they do make sure to respect each other’s “space, time, and independence”.
As anyone who has ever faced a break-up will know, seeing your ex move on with someone else can be extremely painful, and, despite her commendably mature approach, Moon was not immune to this particular pang. She revealed: “The first time that I found out he was dating somebody, it was a little bit of a shock to the system. And I did have a little bit of a cry, but it wasn’t coming from a place of, ‘Oh, I’m jealous or I want to be with you’. It was more that the finality had just sunk in.
“[…] It is just kind of a little bit of an adjustment, but then I was absolutely fine with it and very supportive and very encouraging, and the first time I told him when I liked somebody, he also had that same reaction that I had. He was still very happy for me; it was just an emotional adjustment because you’re used to always being with that person and being the centre of their world. Then all of a sudden you’re like, ‘Oh, someone else is going to be the centre of their world now’.”
According to Moon, their close bond has “created minor issues” with some of Cyrus’ romances. Moon shared: “Some of the girls he has dated have felt quite threatened and insecure about our relationship and how close we are. So it has caused some hindrances like that, or I would say just like some issues for him and his dating life.
“But I am very clear that whoever I date in the future, and he as well, they have to be okay with our dynamic. They have to accept that we’re still going to be respectful of our new future partners, but at the same time, I’m not going to be choosing somebody who’s got so many wounds that they need to deal with that it’s triggering their own insecurities. They need to be okay with the fact that our relationship is platonic, and Cyrus has been there for me like a family member would.”
Moon, who has yet to formally date anyone since the breakup, says she and Cyrus don’t harbour any “jealousies or insecurities” towards each other, and she genuinely wishes him well in all areas of his life, including love.
According to Moon: “I truly want him to find his soulmate and the love of his life who’s going to complement him and his life, who’s gonna uplift him. I want him to have that same success in his career, in his life in general, and he wants the same for me.”
As Moon explained, neither she nor Cyrus has family members in London, making their close-knit connection all the more important. They are, in Moon’s words, “each other’s rocks” despite being now “completely platonic”, and they haven’t once tried to get back together since their split.
Since parting ways romantically, Moon and Cyrus haven’t travelled together, but she believes this is something they would “definitely” do together. Even though they’re no longer a couple, Moon and Cyrus still mark special occasions together, including their “nonversary”—the date which would have been their anniversary had they chosen to stay together. For their 10th anniversary, Moon and Cyrus went out for lunch at Soho House, Greek Street, before getting matching tattoos together. It remains one of Moon’s favourite post-breakup memories with Cyrus.
For their twinning tats, both Moon and Cyrus had ‘Maya’ inked on their skin – one of their favourite Sanskrit words that means ‘illusion’. Going forward, the former couple intend to keep their nonversary as an annual tradition, to show their “gratitude” and “appreciation” for each other.
She reflected: “When you have that kind of appreciation for each other, it’s so deep and beautiful and it’s worth celebrating absolutely, so this year again we will be doing something cute and meaningful for our nonversary, and every year.”
According to Moon, friends will often be “shocked” by their story, given the relative “rarity” of being able to maintain such a friendship. However, they’ve also been “supportive and pleasantly surprised” by the arrangement, which has encouraged some of them to follow suit and aim for more “amicable break-ups”.
Sadly, not all who’ve been inspired to follow this route have been successful, with Moon warning that “mutual desire, respect, and understanding” is essential for moving forward.
Moon shared: “Now, people who have not done that same inner work and healing cannot have this relationship that he and I have. So that’s like the number one most important thing, you have to have done that work, have that self-awareness.”
Moon has been following the story of Race Across The World’s Gaz and Yin, and finds the couple “inspiring”. Commenting on the importance of seeing this lesser-seen dynamic on TV, Moon said: “I love seeing a couple like Gaz and Yin take on Race Across The World together. It’s so refreshing, and honestly powerful, to witness a dynamic where two people have evolved beyond their romantic relationship, yet still choose to show up for each other with kindness, respect, and teamwork, which I find very much relatable to my dynamic with Cyrus.
“When Yin hit rock bottom after losing her partner, Gaz was the person who was there for her to support her through that trying time. Cyrus is this person for me and me for him. So often, we’re fed the idea that breakups have to end in bitterness or complete disconnection, but this shows a whole new way of being — one that’s mature, emotionally intelligent, and rooted in growth. Life is layered, and relationships don’t have to fit into neat little boxes.”
She added: “To see this kind of conscious friendship on mainstream TV is not only healing, it’s inspiring. It shows what’s possible when two people prioritise peace and transformation over ego and blame. I’m definitely here for it.
“I feel they also have a great chance of winning as they have years of history and years of working through and overcoming challenges together.”
Do you have a story to share? Email me at julia.banim@reachplc.com
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