Donald Trump continues to procrastinate over the biggest decision of his presidency so far.
He’s had time to pal about with a football squad, rant about his polls and raise two massive flagpoles outside the White House.
(For the record, I’ve been to the White House loads of times and not once have I thought: “You know what this is missing? More flags”)
Yet any questions about Iran, or about Israel, or about whether he’s going to annoy a huge chunk of his base who voted for his promise to keep America out of foreign conflicts, and he goes all vague.
“Maybe” he’ll help Israel bomb Iran, and “who knows” whether the regime could be toppled.
He gives the impression of a man who wishes he could get back to the golf course. In fact, he kind of said exactly that to a reporter during the flag-raising.
Here’s all of the above and more that went down in Trump World in the last 24 hours.
Everything is fine, here’s what you need to know.
1. Trump is still saying he ‘may’ have to bomb Iran
Asked about potential US involvement in strikes on Iran’s nuclear capabilities, Trump said: “You may have to fight. And maybe it’ll end. And maybe it’ll end very quickly.”
Glad we got that cleared up.
Considering the global importance and urgency of the situation, he does not appear at all engaged with the topic.
Asked if the Iranian regime could fall, Trump said: “Sure. Anything could happen, right?”
2. He had a massive rant at his old buddies at Fox News
Trump woke up this morning and clearly saw something he didn’t like on his former favourite TV news channel…
“The Crooked FoxNews Polls got the Election WRONG,” he posted in a lengthy screed on Truth Social.
“I won by much more than they said I would, and have been biased against me for years.”
Then it started to become clear that what he hates about Fox News is the “News” part.
He wrote: “They are always wrong and negative. It’s why MAGA HATES FoxNews, even though their anchors are GREAT.”
Fox, to its credit, kind of, has a pretty good ‘church and state’ split between the news division – which broadcasts relatively normal, if a little skewed, news during the day – and the primetime shows where the opinion anchors like Jesse Watters, Laura Ingraham and most notably Sean Hannity take over.
“This has gone on for years, but they never change the incompetent polling company that does their work.
“Now a new FoxNews poll comes out this morning giving me a little more than 50% at the Border, and yet the Border is miraculously perfect, NOBODY WAS ABLE TO COME IN LAST MONTH.
“60,000 people came in with Sleepy Joe in the same month last year. I hate FAKE pollsters, one of the Worst, but Fox will never change their discredited pollster!”
You heard the man, Fox. Must try harder!
3. Trump still doesn’t understand how stealth bombers work
One of the funniest things about Donald Trump’s brain is its inability to grasp the concept of stealth technology.
Speaking in the Oval Office, it sounded like he believed the stealth planes were literally invisible.
“We have planes that are undetectable flying around,” he said. “Nobody’s able to see them. Stealth.”
4. He suggested he might withhold wildfire cash because he doesn’t like California’s governor
Trump was asked by a reporter if his disagreements with California Governor Gavin Newsom – particularly last week over the protests in LA – could impact on government support for fighting wildfires this summer.
Trump’s response? Let it burn.
“Sure, maybe,” he said.
“He shouldn’t have fires like that. You clean the floor of your forest and you won’t have any forest fires.”
5. He kind of accused (some) Juventus players of being in the country illegally
Players from the Juventus squad were, for some reason, in the Oval Office last night, providing a backdrop to Trump’s impromptu press conference.
(Honestly, we have no idea why people still volunteer to do this. It never goes well).
“People are coming in but they have to come in legally. Like some of these guys behind me,” he said.
Some?
He went on to suggest there should be some kind of unconstitutional declaration of patriotism required for entry to the United States: “They have to come in legally. If they come in legally, we want them.
“They have to say they love America, they love our country. And if they can’t say that, we don’t want them.”
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6. He then tried to get the Juventus team to go along with his weird transpobic rant
To their credit, they were having exactly none of it.
A new thread in his weave of late is claiming Joe Biden actually didn’t stand for many of his actual stated beliefs, and that they were pushed on the President by those around him.
There’s no evidence for this, but it feeds into his weird conspiracy theory about the “autopen” – the suggestion Biden was so incapacitated that staffers were taking decisions and using an automatic signature machine to sign them off. This is, of course, nonsense.
“He was never for open borders,” Trump said. “And he was never, if you think, he was never for transgender for everybody, or men playing in women’s sports.”
He turned to the players and asked: “Could a woman make your team, fellas? Tell me.”
The players just looked at each other and stayed silent.
“You’re being nice,” Trump said, turning to the team’s General Manager to ask what he thought.
The besuited gentleman said, diplomatically: “We have a very good women’s team.”
7. He moaned he hadn’t been able to play golf for 3 weeks
“I haven’t hit a ball in 3 weeks, 4 weeks,” he complained to a reporter while his massive pole was being raised up on the South Lawn last night.
“It’s time to get out there,” the reporter replied.
“Been a little busy,” Trump said. “Wouldn’t you rather have me doing what I’m doing in the end?”
It’s hard to describe, but something in his voice suggested he wasn’t entirely sure himself.