A single mum has shared her heartache after discovering a concerning notebook in her nine-year-old daughter’s bedroom – which revealed what she thinks about herself
A mum has been left heartbroken after discovering a notebook titled ‘How to be skinny’ in her nine-year-old daughter’s bedroom. She explained how she grew up in a toxic environment with an intense ‘diet culture’ – and doesn’t want the same for her daughter.
But much to her horror, she has come to learn her daughter already has “body shame”, despite only being in primary school. Taking to Reddit, she said: “I’m a single mum of a nine-year-old daughter and I grew up with a very toxic mum who was always putting me on diets and cleanses and exercise programs.
“I felt very strongly about not putting my own daughter through that because it completely destroyed my self-esteem, and until now I felt like I was doing a good job. Tonight I went into her room to check on her after she fell asleep and I saw a piece of notebook paper that said ‘Please, please, please do not turn this over and read it’.
“Don’t judge me, I turned it over and read it. It was titled ‘How to be skinny’ and was a numbered list of things like – eat less, take walks, no cake, etc.” She shared how she has noticed “self-esteem and body issues” creeping up lately – but didn’t know the severity of them until now.
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Seeking advice, she added: “I’ve always followed them up with conversations about how a girl’s worth/value is not about weight or looks but about how she carries herself and how she treats others. And of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her and she’s beautiful.”
Responding to her post, one user said: “I’m sad that it starts so early. I do think it’s a good sign that she wrote all these toxic thoughts down and said please don’t read—to me it seems like maybe these feelings and thoughts are bothering her, and she wants your help dealing with them. When I was a kid, I wanted my mum’s help with this kind of thing so bad but didn’t know how to ask. I think she does want your adult guidance
Another user added: “I’m gonna be honest if I had written ‘Please don’t read this’ on something I knew my mum was gonna find it. I most likely wanted her to find it.” A third user said: “It starts at this age. I noticed my nine-year-old getting self-conscious about clothes and her looks now. I guess the next step is trying to figure out how to navigate this. One thing is helping to build self-confidence.”
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