Four years after son Tom died in a sporting accident, Lisa Wilson heard his heartbeat again – in the chest of a man whose life he saved.
And she says the sound of a little girl’s laugh as she played on the swings with her sister, able to enjoy life thanks to Tom’s liver, was “simply amazing”. In all, 50 people’s lives were either saved or enhanced by donations from Tom’s body after he died at just 22.
But it only happened because Lisa, 61, and her husband Graham were able to see through their own grief to the good their son’s death might bring. Former PE teacher Lisa recalls: “Graham simply said, ‘There’s nothing anybody can do for Tom, but there’s something Tom can do for others.’”
The keen sportsman had died of a massive brain haemorrhage on December 9, 2015, after being hit on the back of the head with a hockey stick while training at his local club. The couple learned he had signed the organ donor register during his freshers’ week at Nottingham Trent University – without telling them.
Lisa says: “As his parents, we had the ultimate say in what happened with his body. Thank goodness, in the depths of my grief I managed to listen to Graham and see Tom’s wishes through.” Her daughter Pippa, Tom’s younger sister, is now 29. But Lisa says that thanks to Tom her family has grown – now including Gordon Paw, 69, who was given his heart, and 11-year-old Fatima Siddiqui, who received his liver.
Fatima, from King’s Cross, North London, was in end-stage liver failure due to a rare neonatal condition. Gordon needed a new heart because of cardiomyopathy, a disorder affecting the heart muscle.
Recalling standing with them both at the British Transplant Games in Leeds in 2022, Lisa says: “There I was with two amazing new people in my life who were alive thanks to Tom’s organs – with positive ripples spreading through whole families, whole communities, for years to come.”
At this year’s games she was delighted to hand Gordon the bronze medal for table tennis – after the dad of two promised to pick up his bat again for the first time in decades, in Tom’s honour. The Tom Wilson Memorial Fund, a charity Lisa launched to promote organ donation, will be sponsoring him to compete at next year’s World Transplant Games in Dresden, Germany.
Lisa’s determination is not just honouring her son, but also Graham – who died less than three months after Tom. He had suffered what doctors believed to be a mini stroke just after their son’s funeral. Scans revealed a brain tumour, but while having chemotherapy he developed sepsis, and died at the age of 63.
Lisa says: “Those few months were simply awful, none of it seemed real –organising two funerals and working out how Pippa and I could carry on. Knowing Tom’s organs should save several lives kept me going. I wrote letters to the recipients via Michelle, the transplant coordinator.”
Within weeks Lisa, who now lives in Barnstaple, Devon, and Pippa received replies from a mum, telling them about her daughter’s new liver.
It included photos on a memory stick of the little girl’s hugely swollen belly before the transplant, and of her afterwards, happy and healthy. Lisa says: “I can’t put into words the lift it gave us. After the worst few months possible, the world wasn’t such a bad place. There was some light and happiness.”
The two mums continued to swap letters, kept anonymous at that stage to meet donor regulations. Then in 2018, in a South London park, Lisa finally got to meet Fatima, then five – who rushed over with a bunch of flowers and a fluffy unicorn.
Lisa says: “Meeting Fatima, her mum Lubna and sister Sophia, feeling the warmth of their skin, seeing their smiles as they played on the swings… it was simply incredible. Lubna asked about Tom, his likes and dislikes, and we chatted for hours – me telling her how he loved sport and what a positive person he was.
“I made them promise me Fatima would keep running and swimming, she’d stay fit and healthy, which is all Tom would’ve wanted.” Around the same time Gordon, a West Ham fan like Tom and Graham, also replied to Lisa, saying how Tom’s heart gave him a second chance.
Heartbeat
Lisa says: “I got to meet Gordon at the club’s London stadium in 2019, the year after I’d met Fatima – and to press my ear against his chest and hear Tom’s heartbeat. It was amazing. I was in tears, and Gordon just said how astonishing this gift was.
“I said I hoped it would inspire more people to do the same. It had helped me to heal.” Lisa, then living in Essex, adds: “I told Gordon the same as I had Fatima – that Tom had been very sporty, and all he would’ve wanted was for him to carry that on. Gordon says Tom is his hero and when he tires on the treadmill, he can hear Tom telling him not to give up.”
Many others also received organs, bones, skin or tissue from Tom, but Lisa is happy to have met just two. She says: “I don’t have to hug or even meet them to get a warm glow knowing the world is a better place. In organ donation terms, Tom was gold dust. Early 20s, extremely fit and healthy, his organs kept healthy because he was on a ventilator.”
But knowing how traumatic such sudden loss is, she urges those who want to be donors to tell their family, even though the law now assumes donation consent by default. Lisa says: “It’s still completely vital to tell your nearest and dearest, because they have the final say.
“I’m just so grateful that, in that dark hour, Graham gave me the best advice ever – to donate Tom’s organs.” As for her transplant family, Fatima has just started senior school and dad-of-two Gordon, from Durham, has retired as a psychiatric nurse.
This month he is going on a cruise with wife Patricia for their 44th anniversary and his 70th birthday. Lisa adds: “These two amazing humans have grabbed life with both hands – Tom would be proud. I lost a son and a husband, both way before their time, but what I’ve gained since has been invaluable.”
Gordon, now a grandad of four, says: “Simply walking, each step reminds me of Tom’s kindness. Being a grandpa is amazing. Without Tom none of this would have happened.” Fatima adds: “Lisa is so kind and lovely, and Tom is my hero. He saved me. I love sport now, just like he did.”
