Exclusive:
As parents demand more support to safeguard children online, the Mirror speaks to experts about the ways predators connect with kids on the web and how to stop it
While parents think their children are innocently playing on household devices, they may be accessing illicit content on the dark web or connecting with abusive predators online.
Today, Ofcom warned social media sites that their platforms could be banned for under-18s if they fail to comply with new codes of practice under the Online Safety Act. The media regulator has published proposals, set to come in at the end of the year, that will put robust age-checking measures in place to stop algorithms from recommending harmful content to children.
Speaking on BBC Radio 5 this morning, Esther Ghey – the mother of murdered teenager Brianna – said she believes social media algorithms are “brainwashing” young people using the platforms. She demanded: “We need support to be able to safeguard our children better.” But Esther added that she feels largely “positive” about the codes of practice and call for change.
Ofcom chief executive, Dame Melanie Dawes, said: “We want children to enjoy life online. But, for too long, their experiences have been blighted by seriously harmful content which they can’t avoid or control. Many parents share feelings of frustration and worry about how to keep their children safe. That must change.”
She explained that the new proposals “go way beyond current industry standards” and “firmly place the responsibility for keeping children safer on tech firms”. While Sir Peter Wanless, chief executive of children’s charity, the NSPCC, said the proposed changes are a “welcome step in the right direction” towards protecting young people online.
It comes after new data from the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) revealed last month that a record-breaking number of preschool kids are being manipulated into extreme sexual abuse acts by remote adult predators online. The IWF – the largest hotline in Europe dedicated to finding and removing child sexual abuse material – called 2023 the ‘most extreme year on record’.
The charity found 275,652 web pages containing child sexual abuse – a record high. Analysts witnessed a rise in youngsters under six being groomed, coerced or tricked into bestiality (sexual relations with animals) and sadism (inflicting pain for sexual pleasure). This abuse happened in domestic locations, including bathrooms and bedrooms; and soft toys and games were spotted in the background.
But how is this abuse happening behind closed doors? Forensic psychologist Dr Alexandra Bailey, senior practitioner at the Lucy Faithfull Foundation (LFF), which offers support to anyone worried about their own or someone else’s sexual thoughts or behaviours towards children, has shared how predators connect with youngsters on the internet.
Dr Bailey told the Mirror that some adults pretend to be children to start conversations and engage in young games that kids play. She explained: “The adults who have sexual conversations with children online come from all walks of life and backgrounds. Their motivations vary. Some are sexually attracted to children, but most are not. Some are actively seeking to exploit the children they target, but many don’t think about the impact of what they do.
“Their methods also vary, with some chatting sexually with a child from the outset, while others will move on to having sexual communications over time. Some will lie about their age, while others will say that they are adults. These online conversations can take place in a variety of places, including social media and video games.”
And what drives these predators to have sexually-driven conversations with children and coerce them into disturbing abusive acts? The psychologist said she has spoken to offenders who have told her that their illegal online behaviour was a way of “coping with difficult issues in their lives”, like relationship problems or stress and loneliness.
“The internet became a way to escape from their problems and find a ‘quick fix’ to feel better,” Dr Bailey said, adding: “We are very clear: there are no justifications. It is illegal for adults to have online sexual conversations with under-16s – no ifs, no buts, no excuses. To anyone needing support to change their behaviour, contact the Stop It Now helpline for confidential help and advice. Our Parents Protect website also has support, advice and information to help keep families safe.”
With its many positives, the internet is unfortunately a breeding ground for illicit content and children’s innate curiosity can lead them to stumble upon explicit material, violence and disturbing imagery. But there are ways parents can prevent their kids from physically being able to access the dark web and interact with predators.
Technology expert James Francis, from Mozillion.com, said prevention starts when you first give them a device. He said: “When giving a connected device – a phone, laptop, tablet or games console – to a child, take the time to adjust the default settings. Most devices have content filters so you can enable or restrict which apps they can and can’t access, and set screentime limits.”
His most valuable tip to stop children from using webcams without supervision is to block the internet browser from being able to use the device’s camera. “This means it can’t be accidentally, or intentionally enabled,” James said. “If you want to be extra safe, cover the camera altogether so even if enabled, the view is blocked.”
To do this on an iPhone, you need to head into Settings, find the relevant app (e.g. Safari or Chrome), then click Camera and set to Deny. You can do the same for Microphone too. On an Android phone, you need to go to the right of the address bar, tap More (the three dots), then Settings, Site Settings, Microphone or Camera and tap Off.
James added: “You should take an interest in the apps and sites that your child wants to use. Privacy settings for apps like Snapchat or web browsers can seem complicated initially, but there are plenty of helpful guides online and YouTube videos that can help with this.”
As well as understanding your child’s device, it’s also vital that parents talk to their kids about sex and online relationships. Child protection experts at the LFF have shared suggestions to help make that discussion a little easier:
- Normalise talking about sex. You know your child best, so trust your ability to speak to them when the time feels right. Take the opportunity when relevant situations arise naturally, for example, if a similar story comes up on TV, in the news or if they are talking about one of their friends. This will give your child the all-important message that if they need to ask a question or for help, they can.
- Don’t worry you’ll make things worse. Young people who have good sex and relationship education are also more likely to use contraception than those who have not. Knowledge is power and young people need to make informed choices with help from reliable sources, such as you.
- Talk about consent. Help your child understand what consent means and how they might know someone is giving consent (or not) through their words, actions or body language. Help your child know what this might look like online, as well as in person.
- Don’t forget about the virtual world. It’s important to educate them on the dangers of the online world, encouraging them to think critically and question what they see and who they’re speaking to online.
- Remember, help is available. You don’t have to do everything by yourself. The experienced advisors on our confidential Stop It Now! helpline (0808 1000 900) can help talk things through. You can stay anonymous and don’t have to give your real name, location or any contact details. If you’re not ready to speak to anyone yet, you can also use our live chat or send a secure email.
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