A study of 800 single parents found they are likely to wait for an average of six months before introducing their new partner to their children, while some even have a ‘family date’ before a one-to-one meeting
A survey of 800 parents with children under 18 revealed that they typically wait a month longer to introduce their kids to a new partner than they do to say ‘I love you’.
Other relationship milestones usually achieved before introducing children include becoming exclusive (39%), meeting each other’s friends (31%) and other family members (29%).
Interestingly, a third of respondents said meeting a potential partner’s children is more significant than meeting their parents. It also ranks higher than going on a first holiday together (42%) and celebrating a one-year anniversary (36%).
Sarah Louise Ryan, a dating and relationship expert for Even, a dating app for single parents that commissioned the study, commented: “We encourage single parents to approach dating with a sense of knowing their priorities so they can have clarity, honesty and enjoyment throughout their dating journey.”
“We understand that individuals are so much more than just a parent, and we don’t want anyone to feel as if they have to hide the fact that they have children. Single parents should embrace their whole-selves in dating.”
“Even aims to create a welcoming and accepting space, so when it comes to meeting a potential partner’s kids, it’s a smooth interaction for everyone involved.”
The study revealed that for parents, the top quality they seek in a potential partner is their ability to get along with their children (60%), even more important than a sense of humour (60%) or loyalty (59%).
Exactly half of the respondents also expressed a desire for a partner who understands that their children come first and respects the dedicated days they spend with them (19%).
On average, single parents date four potential partners before finding someone they feel comfortable introducing to their children, typically going on at least 10 dates with the same person before arranging a meeting.
When starting a new relationship, discussions about children tend to come up before conversations about hobbies and interests (53%) or their job (52%).
Those surveyed, via OnePoll.com, also shared the warning signs they look out for during a first date, including talking about their ex (62%) and being asked to prioritise a date over their children (53%). However, 27% have even had a potential partner ask if they can meet their children after just one date.
Interestingly, a quarter of those polled said they would prefer to date someone who already has children, believing they would be more family-oriented (68%) and have a better understanding of their lifestyle (66%).
Despite this, 65% are open to dating someone who isn’t a parent themselves, with 56% admitting they are more accepting of this than they were five years ago.
However, a surprising 12% confessed to deliberately omitting any mention of their children on dates due to fears of dwindling interest (37%) or simply because they didn’t feel prepared to broach the subject (34%).
One single mum who knows all too well about the challenges of balancing parenthood and dating is Holly Smith, 32, from Cambridge. She shared: “As a single parent, my child’s needs will always come first and any potential partner must understand the priority I place on their wellbeing. Honesty is key in any relationship, but especially when it comes to blending parenthood and dating.”
“Since dating as a parent, I have been upfront about my commitments as a mum, which allows for mutual understanding from the get-go. My child learns by example, so I want them to see it’s possible to pursue happiness and fulfilment in all aspects of my life by fostering meaningful relationships.”
Dating expert Sarah Louise Ryan has also offered her top tips for single parents navigating the dating scene:
- Do an activity together – To relieve the pressure try an activity with your partner and kids which is fun and engaging, such as bowling, board games or a scavenger hunt.
- Timing is everything – Only introduce your partner when it feels like the time is right for you both and the children and consider what else is happening so don’t introduce them in times of stress such as during exam periods.
- Turn your nerves into excitement It can be nerve-wracking, but try to focus on the positives and view the introduction as a positive step towards strengthening your relationship.
- Be open-minded about different family dynamics – If you’re apprehensive about a blended family dynamic, consider the potential benefits and how enjoyable life can be with more children and diverse perspectives in the family unit.
- Do your homework – To prepare for meeting your partner’s kids, find out what they like beforehand, and ask about their interests and personalities.
- Initiate the conversation early – To prevent your children from being taken aback by a new partner, consider involving them in the conversation as you embark on your dating journey and empower them to make their own decisions.
- Be ready as a couple – Anticipate questions your children may ask you during the first meeting. The more unified your responses are, the stronger the foundation you’ll build for communication.
- Savour the process – You’ll only have the first meeting with the kids once, so make it fun and exciting. It all depends on your approach and the plans you make to ensure everyone enjoys the experience.
