Southampton have a worst record at this stage of the season than the infamous Derby County side from 2007/08 – their defeat by Brentford showed a shambolic side on the way to making Premier League history
It is a Premier League record that everyone assumed would never be beaten.
For 17 years it has stood unmatched, as a totem of what can be done, as the pinnacle of rubbish in the Premier League, forever being referenced as the height of dreadful.
Derby County’s 11 points from 2007/08 is infamous as the lowest points tally in Premier League history. One win. Twenty-nine defeats. Twenty goals scored. Incredible levels of ineptitude.
And yet, after all these years, we might just have a new pretender to the throne. Sheffield United managed to eclipse their tally of 89 goals conceded by letting in a staggering 104 in 2023/24, but Southampton could be coming for the really prestigious title of the worst side in the league’s storied history.
Saturday’s brutal 5-0 mauling by Brentford confirmed their credentials. The Bees arrived at St Mary’s having failed to win an away league game all season. They left having thrashed their opponents in such an emphatic fashion that their travelling fans immediately forgot all the heartbreak on the road.
“I think it might be one of the most one-sided Premier League games I’ve seen,” said Gary Lineker on Match of the Day. While analysing the massacre, Danny Murphy grappled to conjure words strong enough, coming up with “shambolic” before slamming the Saints players for their “horrendous attitude, discipline and application” and concluding with: “you have to have some self-worth and some pride”.
Saints are officially the worst side in Premier League history after 20 games, boasting just six points and a goal difference of -32 to just pip Sunderland (2005/06) to the crown. That vintage Derby side had managed seven points by this stage.
It should also be noted that Southampton’s solitary win came in extremely fortuitous fashion against Everton and required one of the tightest offside calls of the season to deny Beto an equaliser, while Adam Armstrong’s winner came seconds after the same player had smashed the crossbar with an easy chance.
Southampton have been completely and utterly out-classed all season long. Russell Martin arrived in the league armed with a philosophy and a stubbornness. After every loss he told us that we simply needed to trust the process. Yes, the team had again shot themselves in the foot again, finding a ludicrous new way to concede while playing out from the back. But, did you see how brave they were?! If they had only scored those chances then everything would have been different.
Martin is gone and Ivan Juric has taken control. He must already be questioning why he did such a thing. A more direct style, with the Premier League’s tallest player (another record!) Paul Onuachu, up front and another mountain, Lesley Ugochukwu, in midfield, has yielded three defeats out of three so far.
They are 10 points from safety. That number is completely irrelevant. Southampton will be playing in the Championship next season. Besides allowing plenty of game time to the one bright spark, Tyler Dibling, their only real achievement thus far has been to avoid as much calamity and ill-feeling as the last time they were in the Premier League.
That time, owners Sport Republic went from Ralph Hasenhuttl to Ruben Selles via the spectacularly unsuccessful and unpopular appointment of Nathan Jones. That mess of a team still managed to accrue 25 points, with their relegation only confirmed in May. These are the levels.
Sport Republic deserve a large amount of the blame. The recruitment has been absolutely atrocious. Onuachu cost £18million in a January 2023 panic buy. He is yet to score in 24 appearances. Kamaldeen Sulemana cost a club-record £22m in the same window. He has two goals and five assists in 55 appearances. I could go on.
Embarrassment abounds at Southampton – and an appearance from Rishi Sunak is the least of their problems. While club legends Matt Le Tissier and Rickie Lambert go full tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist in strange corners of the internet, ex-chairman Rupert Lowe is being hailed as a political genius by Elon Musk.
After the Brentford game, Saints managed to go viral on social media after forcing club captain Armstrong to present an award to a fan in hospitality who had correctly predicted the thrashing. Derby’s annus horribilis didn’t have such cartoonish colour.
They are bottom and heading for relegation, but Southampton do still have something to play for. They need six more points to get past Derby’s points tally. Right now, in the depths of despair, that would genuinely seem like an achievement.
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