There are many unspoken rules to keep up with in the modern dating world – from ‘ghosting’, to ‘love-bombing’ and ‘situationships’. So a singleton was thrown after receiving a surprise text message
A woman has gone viral for sharing a surprising message she’d received from a man who kept bailing on their plans.
Navigating etiquette in modern dating can be minefield. From ‘ghosting’, to ‘love-bombing’ and incredibly murky ‘situationships’ – there are so many unspoken rules and terms to keep up with, which can make it all very confusing.
But one dater’s expectations were certainly shaken up, after a man she’d never met sent her a text message out of the blue. The social media user, referred to only as ‘Courtney’, took to X to share her story – and it’s certainly garnered a lot of attention.
“Received a text today from a guy who I had plans to go on a first date with,” she wrote using her handle @csmallllll. “And it dawned on me while reading, that this man who I never met nor dated, had more respect for me to even send this text, than any man I’ve ever actually dated.
Courtney claimed that she and the man in question were always looking to go on a date, but their schedules were never aligned, with the occasion postponed over and over. After some back-and-fourth, it seemed the man was keen to cut to the chase, sending the long message that threw her off guard.
It read: “Hi. Know we’ve never met so not sure if it’s overkill to give an explanation, but prefer to do this over ghosting. I’ve had a lot going on family health wise over the past like month and a half, and I’ve also started talking to someone that I’ve date in the past, since they know the situation and all.
“So, I feel like this isn’t the right time for me to start seeing someone new, even though Maragritaville and D&B sounds immaculate.” The man then also apologised for the murky situation, adding: “Sorry that we just ended up being pen pals. And sorry for the probably unnecessarily detailed message.”
While Courtney seemed to take this news on the chin, she was especially gobsmacked by his politeness. Sharing his post online therefore wasn’t intended to ‘bash him’, but rather show how great it feels to have honest communication with a stranger.
She said: “I just am taken aback by how respectful he was towards my feelings yet we never actually met in person. The bar is in the basement.”
Later, she also responded him, writing: “Hey, no problem at all! An explanation wasn’t needed by it’s appreciated. I hope everything is okay with your family! And no worries at all, the plan sounded fun but wish you all the best!”
As of now, Courtney’s post has racked up a staggering 49,000 likes, with many X users bonding over their similar dating experiences. One person wrote: “I had a similar experience… the guy sends a lovely message saying ‘thanks but it’s not a great time for him’. Had so much respect for him for it.”
Another added: “The bar IS in the basement these days,” as a third chimed in: “There’s still some gentleman left. [A] little mutual respect goes a long way.”
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