7 wild and troubling things Donald Trump did on day 17 back in the White House

Donald Trump spent much of the last 48 hours trying and failing to cleaning up the mess he’d made with his wild and impractical plan for Gaza.

Which doesn’t bode well for his ability to actually clean up Gaza.

Elsewhere, he signed an order to ensure the full weight of the American state apparatus persecutes a very specific dozen or so US citizens, most of whom probably just want to play sport and be left alone.

And we learned beyond doubt that Elon Musk and his teenage minions are incapable of reading a spreadsheet.

Here’s all the most exasperating things Donald Trump did on his 17th day back in the Oval Office that you need to know about today.

1. Said Gaza would simply be given to the US, without any need for US soldiers

Donald Trump this morning cleared up some confusion about his plan to invade and occupy Gaza, turning it into a sort of ‘Vegas on Med’ entertainment resort.

The good news is Trump reckons Israel will simply give Gaza to America “at the conclusion of fighting” – which doesn’t seem to put much faith in the current ceasefire.

He said the Palestinian people, who as far as anyone can tell do not want to leave Gaza, will have “already been resettled in far safer and more beautiful communities, with new and modern homes, in the region.”

“No soldiers by the U.S. would be needed!,” he wrote on Truth social. “Stability for the region would reign.”

That’s alright then.

2. Got flustered when asked about one of Trump’s key promises

Ahead of the election, I spoke to a lot of people in the states. Of the Trump voters, most of them said they were backing him for one or both of two reasons: That he would make the world safer, and that he would make their lives cheaper.

His wading into Gaza, risking the ceasefire and antagonising the Middle East in general is taking care of the first one. Great work.

On the second, Trump himself said: “When I win, I will immediately bring prices down, starting on Day One.”

So not unreasonable to ask the White House what’s going on with that.

Presented with the question, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt looked surprised, and a little flustered.

“Prices at the store and at the grocery pump?” She bumbled, adding: “The President is doing everything he can to reduce the cost of living crisis as quickly as possible”

She then went on to list a lot of executive orders the President had signed, none of which have, thus far brought prices down.

Still, maybe Trump would sign an order that very day that would help struggling families. Not something to satisfy a mean spirited and bigoted culture war obsession, but something with substance.

Oh. Wait….

3. Pushed through an executive order that will affect fewer people than were in the room when he signed it

Yesterday, Trump gathered hundreds of young women, plus an audience of White House people to watch him sign an executive order banning trans women from competing in women’s sport.

We’ve looked really hard and can’t find a source for Trump’s claim that trans women have “stolen” 3,500 victories and competed in 11,000 women’s events.

In all likelihood, the people in the room outnumbered the trans women who have ever tried to compete in women’s sport.

Of the estimated 332 million US citizens living in America, around 1.3 million adults and 300,000 young people 13-17 identify as transgender. Research has indicated that of those, there are unlikely to be more than 100 trans women hoping to compete in women’s sport.

The Head of the National College Athletes Association (NCAA) said in December that there were fewer than 10 trans athletes currently competing at a college level.

If Trump’s numbers are true, those 10 competed in 1,100 events each, and chalked up an average 350 wins – which worth a medal if you ask me.

4. Ordered the CIA to email over names of all the people they’ve hired

One thing about the clandestine services is that they tend to be reluctant to identify themselves.

So there were some raised eyebrows when the White House asked the CIA to send over a list of all the people they’d hired over the last couple of years.

According to the New York Times, former officials said the move risked the list leaking to America’s enemies.

One former agency officer called it a “counterintelligence disaster”.

The CIA complied, and sent the list to the Office of Personnel Management – the government agency that has been subject to a hostile takeover by Elon Musk’s youth bully squad – but only first names and initials.

5. Provoked the ire of the Commons Speaker

In a rare intervention in politics of any kind, let alone that of another nation, Commons Speaker Lindsay Hoyle told a reception marking LGBTQ+ History Month what was “coming out of America is not acceptable.”

Hoyle has previously been quite courteous to the Donald, indicating he’d be open to Trump addressing both Houses of Parliament next time he visits and writing to him to express his concern after the attempt on his life on the campaign trail.

6. Got very confused about the difference between “donating to an organisation” and “subscribing to a newspaper”

In more evidence that Elon Musk and his band of teenage geniuses don’t know how to read a spreadsheet, The White House says it will stop donating money to news website Politico. Which it doesn’t.

In the afternoon, Musk started to retweet people pointing out that a not insignificant amount of money goes to media companies, including Politico, the New York Times and the Associated Press – quite obviously in subscriptions for government employees who want to be well informed in order to do their jobs.

Musk tweeted in agreement that this amounts to “FUNDING CORPORATE MEDIA”, which is only true if you think having lunch at Greggs is “BANKROLLING BIG PASTRY.”

It’s exchanging money for a useful service.

But hey, it made its way all the way up to Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, who said that the $8m worth of Politico subscriptions paid for by the government would be immediately cancelled.

7. Sacked a bunch of Catholics

Noted Catholic and Vice President JD Vance defended cuts to US foreign aid in a speech to the International Religious Freedom Summit, arguing the funds were “spreading atheism” abroad.

The same day, Catholic Relief Services, the biggest single recipient of funds from USAID, started to sack staff because their payments had been stopped by Elon Musk.

The organisation gets around half of its $1.5 billion budget through USAID. CEO Sean Callahan said in an email: “We anticipate that we will be a much smaller overall organisation by the end of the year.”