A woman has opened up about her close relationship with her ex-husband, as she revealed they still go on family holidays so neither of them miss out on special moments
A mum has opened up about her unique co-parenting situation – but others slammed her for “confusing” her children over her relationship with her ex-husband.
She shared that she and her husband have split up, but despite no longer being in love, neither of them wanted to miss out on their children’s ‘first’ moments. They decided they would still have a close relationship for the sake of their kids, which also means they still go on family holidays together.
However others aren’t so sure this is a good idea and worry it’s giving their children mixed messages about their relationship, as well as raising concerns about the family dynamic when they eventually meet new partners.
The mum took to Mumsnet to share her situation and asked if it was right she and her ex-husband did this. She detailed in an anonymous post: “My husband and I have split but want to stay amicable and in the children’s lives as much as possible. I can assure you I in no way want to get back with him and he feels the same (he instigated it).”
She went on to explain how they have young children and are very different in “ages and interests” so argued that having two adults is easier for things such as theme parks and holidays, and said neither of them have family to help as ‘parents have passed and only child’.
The post added: “Also we don’t want to miss events like first ski trips just because we aren’t ‘in love’ any more. We even plan to do Xmas day together! If you let your partner holiday with friends, why on earth not exes?! I’m not saying all holidays with an ex, just some, and as the children get older, it will probably tail off.”
However, other mums were quick to chime in with their thoughts, and most were in agreement she was being unreasonable. One Mumsnet user commented: “It wouldn’t be for me – amicable or not my ex isn’t someone I’d like to holiday with. Potentially confusing for the children as well – days out is one thing but holidays together? What would the sleeping arrangements look like? And how will you ever build your own routines/rituals/coping strategies when nothing has actually changed?
Another mum simply said, “Inappropriate and confusing for the children,” and a third echoed: “It’s confusing for the children, and inappropriate if either has a new partner.”
However, one shared her own similar experiences and wrote in support: “Me and my ex did it a few times, and it worked well. We separated when they were very small so it was normal for my children. As an adult, one of them now tells me how much he appreciated both his parents making the effort to have a good relationship with each other.”
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