Exhausted, anxious and binge eating, a mum-of-three who claims her life was “toxic” says a shock breast cancer diagnosis “cured” her and has led her to lead a much happier life
Offered an early mammogram at 46, as part of a local trial targeting younger women, Alex Simms, who worked in corporate events, was blindsided to discover she had an invasive ductal carcinoma – a form of cancer – in her left breast.
But she tells The Mirror: “I know it may sound strange, but I would one hundred per cent go through the hell of it all again, because it’s brought me where I am today – to a happier life.”
Alex, now 54, of Berkhamsted, Herts – who prefers her nickname La – says of the mammogram: “There was no cancer in the family, I breastfed the kids – I wasn’t worried. I didn’t even ask when I’d get the results.”
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But a week later a letter arrived calling La – mum to Lily, 22, Maisy,19 and Harry, 14 – for more tests at a local hospital and encouraging her to bring someone with her. After a further mammogram and subsequent biopsy, doctors told her and her husband Jason, 54, a TV executive, that she had breast cancer, probably at stage 2.
She says: “It was a total shock. My world fell apart. I was told the cancer was so deep rooted I would never have felt a lump and if I’d waited until I was older to have the mammogram I may not have survived.. We got the news on Jason’s 46th birthday – he told me it was the worst present he’d ever had.”
“I was worried about my kids, too. I thought, ‘they can’t live without their mum, I’m not having that.’”
Also concerned about her high flying job, she admits: “That’s the chronic people pleaser in me. I wanted to make sure my employers would be ok.”
Luckily, after a lumpectomy and a prolonged period of radiotherapy, the mum – who is speaking to raise awareness as October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month – was given the all clear. And she soon realised that the experience, back in 2017, had cured more than just her cancer.
“The treatment was brutal but I came out the other side, “ she says. “But after I’d rung the bell to mark the end of treatment, I didn’t stop crying. I’d just sit there every day, miserable, and I’d think ‘is this it? Are you just going to go back to your old life?’
“It sounds crazy, but cancer cured me. It was the catalyst that changed my life. I realised that, on the outside, I was the one who was always smiling, always juggling, holding it all together – but underneath it was a toxic existence. I was exhausted and anxious. I was binge eating. I wasn’t living my life well. It took cancer to change all that.”
Facing her own mortality forced La to finally address what had caused her “toxic behaviour.”
“My parents divorced when I was three and I became ‘the good girl’ for my mum,” she says. “That set the trend. I wanted to make sure that what I was doing was making others feel good.
“From the outside, everything looked great. I had a lovely family and house and a nice life, but inside I was broken, in tatters. I was anxious, binge eating. I’d wake up every morning going, ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’”
Convinced that bottling up her emotions had played a part in her developing cancer, she says: “The body keeps score.”
Determined to improve her immunity and lifestyle, she began researching lymphatic drainage techniques to release toxins in the body and relieve fluid retention – investing in specialist massage equipment – and exploring complimentary therapies.
Energised by her improved health and wellbeing, she built a treatment room at the bottom of her garden and launched a successful business – now called Lala Loves, which also offers retreats.
La, whose ambition is to run retreats for cancer survivors after treatment, also has a podcast, Cancer Cured Me, where people share their stories.
She says: “The message is ‘you don’t have to wait until you get cancer to change your life. The time is now.”
