A woman has shared how she prefers to date men 20 years younger because they are more adventurous in bed and aren’t put off by her confidence – but she hates being called ‘mum’
A woman who proudly calls herself a cougar has defended her love for age-gap relationships.
Shirley Rosemary Flynn, 43, prefers to date men in their 20s and 30s because they are more experimental in the bedroom and don’t feel intimidated by her confident personality. She began dating younger men a decade ago after finding that men her own age were “boring” and “didn’t want to explore” sexually in the same way she did.
Now, she exclusively dates men who are much younger than her and encourages other women to “go for it”. The influencer and customer sales advisor, from Birmingham, West Midlands, has defended Bridget Jones’ age-gap relationship in her new Mad About The Boy film after it came under fire. Shirley said: “I prefer guys in their 20s.”
She continued: “When [older men] date younger women, no one says anything. When a woman does, they get seen as a slapper,” Shirley said, highlighting the taboo in society. “I’m not going to look this good forever. I’m not going to have the stamina. I’ve got to make the most out of it. Go out and enjoy yourself – it’s your life.”
Shirley started dating younger men in 2015 after not finding what she was after in men her own age. She said: “I dated a couple of guys who weren’t good in bed. They weren’t adventurous.”
The self-confessed cougar has dated men as young as 18, but now says age 20 is her limit. She said: “At aged 18 some are not mature to take a women like me. I see myself as a powerful woman.”
Shirley said men in their 40s find her “intimidating,” whereas young males like the “challenge.” She said, “A lot of men I have met in their 40s or 50s tend to gamble and smoke—I find that off-putting.”
Her advice to other women is to be confident in yourself if you want to date younger men. “At first it felt a bit weird. A guy got ID’d who I was with – that was a bit embarrassing. One said, ‘Thank you, mum’,” she recalled. But the good outweighs the negativity.
“Dating the younger guys, it’s like an experiment. It’s a lot more fun than dating older men. They are not afraid to try new things. Older men see an attractive woman as a threat. Younger men see us as a challenge. The first guy to make me orgasm was a younger guy,” Shirley said.
The influencer encouraged women to not be ashamed to try dating someone younger, like Bridget does in the new film, but emphasised that you should love yourself first. She added: “Go for it and have fun.”
Shirley isn’t the only woman encouraging others to date younger men. Rachel, 50, couldn’t be happier with her 27-year-old toyboy, and despite getting mistaken for his Alex’s mum, she said it “doesn’t define” their relationship. “We were meant to do life together, we were meant to meet, we were meant to love each other,” Rachel said as she joked that she’s now a ‘cougar’ too.
