Leaving a party with an ‘Irish goodbye’ has become TikTok’s latest trend, however the stereotype originates far from Ireland and instead has a much darker meaning
There are many true stereotypes about the Irish, like loving Guinness. However, there is one viral trend that has many Irish people scratching their heads, myself included – and that’s the ‘Irish goodbye’.
If you haven’t heard of it before, the ‘Irish goodbye’ is a specific kind of farewell which involves dipping from a house party or event unannounced. It’s recently gained popularity on social media in the run up to St Patrick’s Day, with many joking TikToks thanking the Irish for creating their “favourite goodbye”.
In fairness, it’s not hard to see the appeal. Everyone reaches a point at a house party where they realise it’s past its peak. By then, it’s probably best to get ahead of nursing the inevitable hangover and avoiding the tedious three am rambling conversations about nothing.
The Irish goodbye claims masterfully avoids deflecting the inevitable protests to stay, as well as the arduous task of waving everyone farewell one-by-one. Or, God forbid, getting roped into splitting a taxi with your drunk friend who lives in the opposite direction and who has a non-zero chance of incurring the Uber clean-up charge.
The one problem? It’s fake news. As someone who has spent the majority of my life growing up in Ireland, I can assure you that the ‘Irish goodbye’ is not a thing.
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Anyone who has ever gone to a house party in Ireland can attest to the fact that the problem lies in getting people to leave. There is usually a “I’d best be off now”, followed by a forty minute conversation, then a volley of goodbyes. It’s no coincidence that the Irish have been commonly credited with the gift of the gab (or, to use a more up-to-date phrase, certified yappers).
I’m not the only one to have been offended by this cultural misattribution either. Commenters under one of the viral Irish goodbye TikToks have been quick to point out that this is not an Irish phenomenon. “This is your friendly reminder that Irish people do the opposite of the Irish goodbye. We announce we’re leaving hours before we actually do as we keep talking and slowly exit continuing to walk,” the top-voted comment reads.
Another user chimed in with an accurate transcript of a real Irish goodbye: “You’ve obviously never heard of the true Irish goodbye. ‘Alright go on, bye, bye bye bye, alright bye, and c’mere, did I tell you I saw your wan last week?’”
But if Irish people themselves aren’t claiming this Houdini-esque exit, then where does it come from? According to data from Rice University, the term actually originated from Boston, which has a large Irish-American population. Supposedly, the phrase arose to describe the way drunk people would leave a party without talking to anyone in order to avoid revealing how drunk they are.
Alternatively, a linguistic expert from the language-learning app Babbel suggests that it may have come from a tradition of nationalities trying to insult each other. In the eighteenth century, the English used to describe leaving unannounced as the ‘French leave’, while the French created their own insult: ‘filer a l’Anglaise’. The ‘Irish goodbye’ may have been a similarly insulting reference to the millions of Irish left for Britain and America during the 1840s potato famine.
All that said, it would be a lie to say the concept of an Irish goodbye doesn’t exist in Irish media. It absolutely does – but it’s not taken so literally as the meme suggests.
In 2022, the short film ‘An Irish Goodbye’ was awarded a BAFTA and Oscar for its portrayal of two estranged brothers living in rural Ireland. The story follows one brother, as he his brought back from his new life in London at the news of his mother’s death. The film’s name is a reference to emigration and loss, rather than an actual way of saying goodbye.
