A man says he ‘feel disgusted’ at the thought of attending the wedding of his wife’s best friend after it was revealed she was ‘encouraging’ her friend to have an affair behind his back, he claims
A man who feels “severely disrespected” by his wife’s best friend does not want to attend her wedding after claiming she “encouraged” his wife to cheat on him.
When someone you knows gets engaged and starts planning their wedding, you hope to receive an invitation through the post or via email to the big day. But imagine receiving an invite for a wedding you don’t want to attend. One man says he has been “dealing with a lot of anxiety” about attending the wedding of his wife’s best friend. “It feels disgusting,” he said on Reddit recently.
The worried man, who wishes to remain unnamed, explained that his wife “had an affair several years ago”. He claimed that he found text messages on his partner’s phone which showed her “bragging” to her best friend about it, and her friend was reportedly supportive. “At times even encouraging her to continue the affair,” he added.
The couple have now reconciled and things are a lot better between them, the man said, however he admits he still annoyed with her friend. He explained: “I still hold a lot of anger towards her friend, partly for encouraging her to do what she did, instead of telling her to do the right thing.
“Her messages with her friend were the vehicle that delivered so much pain and torment to me. Even now, seeing her friend or hearing her name makes me think of the affair.”
But now the wife’s friend is due to get married in a few months, and of course asked her best friend to stand by her side as maid of honour. However, her husband won’t be joining her at the wedding.
He added: “When I told my wife that I had decided I wouldn’t go, she became pretty upset. She said she was hurt, but it felt more like anger to me. She basically shutdown after that, and hasn’t talked to me. I explained my reasoning, my feelings, etc, but she kind of blew me off.”
He continued: “I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety surrounding the thought of having to attend. Finally, I decided that I needed to protect myself. I would be miserable the entire time, and the idea of celebrating the marriage of a person who, at the very least, severely disrespected mine, feels disgusting.”
He clarified that he has not suggested that his wife cannot attend, but does not want to go himself. The concerned man asked Reddit users for advice on how to deal with the situation and if he is being unreasonable for his decision.
One individual said: “You’re holding so much resentment for the friend when really it’s your wife’s fault. She ruined your relationship not her friend.” Another said: “Dude, it’s not her friend that you are really angry with, it’s your wife. You haven’t fully reconciled what she did to you and deep down things are not ‘pretty okay’ with your relationship.”
Another individual pointed out: “I’m not saying you’re wrong to not want to be around the bestie. I’d feel the same. That said, you still have a lot of pain and I think you need to work through.”
One other added: “You are totally justified and have nothing to apologise for. Also if she’s the made of honour, you’d be spending a lot of time at the wedding by yourself.”
One other suggested: “Tell your wife that it’s too soon for you to accept her friends support of the cheating, and you would rather not risk causing a scene and spoil the wedding.”
Do you agree? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
