A woman was left questioning her relationship with the man she’d been seeing after he kept showering his ex in compliments while on dates with her – and people have urged her to leave
When you’re in a relationship, there are a few golden rules, and one of the main ones is not bringing up former partners too often.
But one woman’s boyfriend wasn’t just bringing his ex up all the time – he was regularly complimenting her to his new girlfriend, which naturally left her feeling confused about how serious he was taking their partnership.
She shared that she’d been with him for two months, saying that she knew it was “early days,” but she was “impatient” and didn’t want to “waste her time” on someone who wasn’t serious about her.
“He’s said that his ex is attractive almost every time I’ve seen him,” she wrote on Mumsnet, sharing that “they have two children together so he has to see her regularly.”
She continued: “The first time caught me off guard, but he was talking about how beautiful he finds his children. He said they look like his ex, who is really attractive. I didn’t think much of it then, but it keeps on happening.
“For the record, I wouldn’t describe his ex as attractive. She’s very plain, so him saying he thinks she’s very attractive surprised me, but obviously, each to their own.”
The man also showered his ex in more compliments about her personality, saying that she’s “a really lovely person, but they are just very different and that’s why they didn’t work.”
The woman shared that she was “really confused” because she’s never been in a situation like this before, and she’s “actually embarrassed” to talk to her friends about it.
In the comments, one woman said that if she was put off this early, it was probably time to stop seeing him. She wrote: “Something that gives you the ick, don’t ignore it, don’t ask strangers if it’s weird (hint – to make you justified to ignore it), if you have the ick this early on, listen and move on. Personally I’d find it weird to refer to an ex in that way (more than once, definitely – every time – most definitely).
“It also shows he places high ‘value’ on his opinions of attractiveness if he’s mentioning it an unusual amount, not that you think she isn’t, but just that he’s mentioning it a lot. That’s a bit weird; yeah, people generally find others attractive, but to keep harping on about it? Listen to the ick.”
Someone questioned: “Is it a way to put you down? Ask him next time.” Another penned: “Ah yeah, f**k that. I think he’s dating too soon after a breakup.”
One Mumsnetter added: “I don’t think there is anything wrong in what he is saying. It wouldn’t necessarily concern me, and far preferable to hear respect shown to his ex than she is crazy etc – but it’s how it’s said and how often. It seems you are picking up on him not being ready for a serious relationship yet”.
