Coleen Nolan advises a reader who feels like a lovestruck teenager after finally giving a relationship a chance, but her friends are suspicious
Dear Coleen
I’m a 42-year-old woman who works in finance. I had boyfriends when I was younger, but later on became too career orientated to waste much time on men.
Recently, I met a much younger man and found myself really enjoying his company, so when he asked me out I said yes and found myself literally melting into his arms when he hugged me.
We had sex on that first date and it was the first time in my life that I had experienced the kind of passionate sex I’d read about. After that, I felt like a lovestruck teenager waiting for him to call.
We started dating and he even paid for a three-week, five-star holiday which was amazing – eating, drinking, boat trips and non-stop sex! When I got home, lots of people commented on how much younger I looked.
Recently, my boyfriend proposed to me, which brings me to my problem: a lot of my friends and family say it’s much too soon and that he’s only after my money.
However, when I told my mum about him, she was delighted for me.
I’m delighted for me, too, as this feels like a fairy tale and it upsets me that people in my life are so negative about it and think he’s “too good to be true”. What do you think?
Coleen says
Sometimes you just have to go with your own gut instinct. If right now he’s making you happy and it feels good and things are going well, then go with it. I can’t see anything negative here other than some friends and family being a bit scathing. Well, so what?
Perhaps a bit of jealousy is creeping in. These friends are used to you being around for them all the time and now you’re not so available because you’re in a relationship, and maybe they don’t like that. So they’ve accused him of being a gold digger – despite the fact he’s paid for a nice holiday for you both – and they’re trying to put doubts in your mind about the speed of this proposal.
At the moment, you’re enjoying life with him and if it goes wrong, it goes wrong. At the start of any relationship – age gap or not – you don’t know how things will play out. It’s a journey of discovery and you can’t move forward worrying about what may or may not lie in the future.
Your friends will just have to get used to it and maybe you can reassure them that you’re smart enough to handle it if things start to go wrong. Plus there’s always the option of a prenup if you’re seriously considering his proposal.
