The new mum has been completely shunned by her in-laws after she and her partner decided to give their baby daughter her surname – and people are 100 per cent with her
Becoming a first-time mum is a rollercoaster ride full of magical moments – and sleepless nights. The first few weeks are particularly important as you bond with your child and take your first steps into the world of parenting. But for one woman, that precious time was tainted by the actions of her parents-in-law, who have now not spoken to her for over a year after a dispute over their granddaughter’s name.
The woman explained that before her daughter was born, she and her partner both agreed that the baby would take her surname for practical reasons, since they weren’t yet married. “Fast forward to the day after I gave birth. His family blew up when they saw on the birth certificate that our daughter bore my name and not my partner’s,” she revealed.
“I tried to explain in a nice way that this was the easier option for now since we weren’t married yet as my partner’s medical and healthcare benefits don’t cover our daughter. His mum blocked me. His dad won’t even talk to me. My partner caved and tried to pressure me to change our daughter’s name. I reminded him that we had an agreement but since he wasn’t handling all the emotional bombardment as well as I tried to, we had a fight.”
Writing on Reddit, the woman asked whether it was too much to ask for some breathing space before they handled the legalities of having a baby. And she further argued that it was their first child together and that they were both brand new to parenting.
“I respected and loved his family so much but this broke me,” she admitted. “I still mourn the fact that I didn’t get to really enjoy the newborn stage because I was trying to pull it together for the three of us. Everything is happening all at once and I just wanted to breathe and learn how to be a mum.
“It’s been more than a year. His family hasn’t visited us once to see their granddaughter but now they keep asking my partner to bring her to their place so they could see her because they see pictures of her on my partner’s social media. They refuse to speak to me.Is it wrong if I don’t want to be the one who has to rebuild the bridge they burned?”
Members of the Reddit community were quick to reach out. “They sound awful. Don’t let your husband take your daughter to them without an apology. They can whine about not being able to see her, they’re the one who chose that over a name. If they really want to see her, they come to you and apologise,” one person advised.
A second said: “What a very weird situation to be put into. What you did was one hundred percent the right thing for you and your child. I’m sorry that you are going through this. But I hope this post does nothing but reassure you that you are not wrong.” A third added: “If anything causes me to lose respect for someone, it’s them throwing a months-long tantrum over absolutely nothing. You’re not the one who needs to seek forgiveness here; they are. They chose to be spiteful so they don’t get to see their supposed grandchildren. Actions have consequences.” And a fourth echoed: “Wonderful until you make a decision they don’t like OP. That is not love and acceptance that is control. Remember that when they are all guilting you.”
Do you agree? Let us know in the comments…
