A man is sick and tired of having to correct people on the pronunciation of his very traditional name but his wife, who pronounces it “correctly” can understand the apparent confusion
A man has sparked a debate after insisting that his whole family – and everyone else in his daily life – are saying his very traditional name incorrectly.
A name is a crucial part of who we are, and it can often lead to quick judgements and assumptions. It’s vital that our names represent how we see ourselves.
For one man named Stephen, the pronunciation used by his family has become a real sticking point. He’s adamant that it should be said as ‘Stefan’, not ‘Steven’, using pronunciation of the name ‘Stephanie’ as an example to back up his case. His wife, who understands both sides of the argument, turned to Reddit for some impartial advice.
She wrote: “My husband’s name is Stephen. His mother and entire family know him as such, and they pronounce it like ‘Steven’, but when we met he introduced himself with the pronunciation like Stephen Curry or ‘Steph’.
“I was with my [sister-in-law] and nieces/nephews the other day and said to my nephew that his ‘Uncle Steph’ would be happy with something, then realised afterward that they all know him as ‘Uncle Steve’ and that’s why I got some confused looks.”
She went on to say her husband “hates” being called Steve and “genuinely wishes” his family would pronounce it with an ‘f’ sound, as in ‘Stefan.’
Explaining his point of view, he argues that “1) in the English language, a ‘ph’ makes an ‘f’ sound (i.e. phone), and 2) the name Stephenie/Stephanie is pronounced with the ‘f’ sound and not a ‘v’ and it’s the exact same name/spelling besides the extra two letters at the end.”
She admitted she was “curious” to see what others think since she understands both sides.
Comments from fellow Reddit users poured in. One individual pointed out: “Steph Curry is the only person in the world I’ve heard with that pronunciation. Steven and Stephen are both Stee-Ven. If your husband were Stefan, then he’s got a point.”
Another agreed and said: “Every Stephen I know pronounces it Steven. It’s only the other way if it’s Stefan. Also, your parents named him, so I would argue they are pronouncing it correctly. Your husband can change his name, but that’s a change, which doesn’t mean his parents were wrong in the first place.”
A third related their own experience: “My aunt spelled my cousin’s name as Stephan but had to change it to Stefan because people were pronouncing it Steven.”
One person suggested a diplomatic approach: “I think if he approached [it] as, ‘I’d prefer to be called…’ rather than ‘Your pronunciation is wrong’ that could really help. I mean, telling his parents they are wrong is kinda off, since they named him.”
The man’s wife understood this perspective and added: “Totally fair point! I’m not sure how it was originally approached, I just know it’s been addressed a couple times and hasn’t been ‘respected’ so that’s where the frustration now comes from.
“The discussion two years ago did include ‘I would prefer’ after some frustrated discussion, which led to them actually saying it the way he prefers for a day or two, but it just reverted right back and he gave up pushing for it again.”
