If your partner lied to you almost 10 years ago and got away with it, could you forgive them? One husband has been left confused after stumbling upon a secret from his wife’s past
How do you know when you’ve truly found ‘the one’?
Perhaps it’s a done deal when they seamlessly slot into family life, or maybe you’ve just had a gut feeling ever since your first encounter.
But now, one husband’s perfect marriage has been completely shattered after discovering that a major motivation for tying the knot was built on lies. The 27-year-old man said he met his partner after joining the military almost 10 years ago.
While he was initially stationed in his girlfriend’s local area, he soon realised he was being deployed. At the time, he gave his girlfriend the option to break it off because the situation was ‘totally unfair’, but she insisted they keep up correspondence.
“We stopped dating but kept in touch,” the man said, posting anonymously to Reddit. “We officially started dating again around the end of my deployment. I knew for those few months at the beginning of my deployment, she was probably dating around.
“But when I came back, she had told me that she never met with another guy or dated since [I’d] been gone. She said that she waited until I came back.” Fast forward to now and the couple are happily married and have two children together.
Recently, on a day like any other, one of their toddlers was keen to play on an iPad. Without thinking too much, the husband handed the child one of his wife’s old devices that she had not used for a long time.
But this soon opened a huge can of worms–- and it’s haunted him ever since. He explained: “I forgot to turn on guided access before putting our other son down for a nap… Our oldest son figured out how to FaceTime people. He pretty much FaceTimed a bunch of her family members and a couple of her old ‘friends’.
“After I heard people talking to my son, I ran in and ended the call. Some of the people my son called had hearts and heart eye emojis, I got curious and opened the messages – [these ones] didn’t pick up my sons FT attempt, thank god.”
Turns out, these mysterious conversations were brimming with sexual messages sent during his first military deployment. Although he doesn’t want a divorce, he still can’t believe his wife lied about staying single all those years ago.
“She was with a couple guys after I left on my first deployment, this hurt me pretty bad,” he said.
“It was so long ago. We weren’t officially dating and she hasn’t talked to those guys since then. But her saying she ‘waited for me’ was a big factor into asking her to marry me a couple years later. [I know] I shouldn’t have clicked those old messages, wish I never did.”
The anonymous confession was quick to amass hundreds of comments on the platform, with many users encouraging him to look past this if the marriage is working. Sympathising, one person wrote: “You can bring it up if it bothers you, and you absolutely should get in the habit of addressing things that bother you immediately with an open mind and as gently as possible…
“That said, I see this as basically a non issue. You left, agreed to stay in touch, she has agency and like any 18 year old girl, probably wanted to see what was out there.”
Another also added: “Let it go and don’t ruin something good for something she did when she was a BABY!” However, others admitted they’d also find it difficult to forgive someone who lied for so long.
One user said: “Definitely bring it up. She lied. She did not wait. She was dating and sexual with other people.”
What do you think? Let us know in the comment section below
