A swinger couple have opened up about their unusual lifestyle, and the impact it’s had on their family and children. The pair say they sometimes get jealous of each other
A proud swinging couple who class themselves as ’emotionally monogamous’ are happy with their unusual set-up – but it’s their son who gets flack for it.
Lacy and her partner Dan often give insight into their unconventional relationship online and they are very content with each other, but sadly Lacy’s son has to deal with comments from fellow school pupils who cruelly joke about his mum’s romantic status.
The couple, both 40, met on a swinger’s app when both of their marriages broke down, and after they became official, they decided to carry on swinging and “explore” their sexuality further, even though it can sometimes cause problems.
Lacy, a content creator, from Nashville, Tennessee, said: “For me, I wasn’t necessarily looking for a life partner. I was enjoying the swinger lifestyle, but it was nice to have someone where I could still be free to live this life and have this relationship.”
Dan, also a content creator, added: “I was very similar to Lacy, we were both in long-term relationships and I was married for 13 years – she was married for seven. When Lacy and I first met, I was jaded to the whole system. I was against relationships altogether at that time but from talking to Lacy constantly and meeting her my opinion changed.”
Dan, who has two children, and Lacy who has one, are open with their families, and although were initially shocked, their loved ones are now supportive. However it wasn’t Lacy who told her son about her lifestyle. She said: “Someone told my son at school so I had to have that conversation with him.
“I wish he could have found out from me but he is in middle school and there is a certain level of people saying ‘your mum is a swinger’.”
Lacy and Dan met in 2019, and at the time Dan said it seemed “sketchy” as he didn’t see “beautiful” single girls on the app. He said: “She messaged me first and I was sceptical as you don’t see a lot of beautiful single women on these sites.
“I wasn’t sure but we chatted a bit and exchanged a few pictures. Later that night she turned up at my hotel room and she was a very real person.”
The couple continued to message back and forth before becoming official in September 2019 and after four years they moved to Nashville, Tennessee and started a life together. They decided to continue with the swinger’s lifestyle and Lacy said: “For me, I loved the ability of exploring my sexuality.
“I love exploring these things with my partner. We are emotionally monogamous but very much sexually non-monogamous.”
Dan said there are “not a lot of social things people can do” and said swinging is a good way to be social, and some just come for the party without the sex. For Lacy and Dan, they make sure they both know their boundaries, which they say is important when it comes to swinging.
Sometimes they still experience jealousy but the couple insists it’s natural. Lacy explained: “Jealousy is a feeling – it is about how you cope with it. I can get jealous when he is softer with girls if he rubs her face or back or kisses her passionately.
“For me, it is making sure I tell Dan it is bothering me. The problem comes when you experience these feelings in the heat of the moment and you make a scene.”
They have made some good friends from the community. Dan said: “Meeting new couples and forming a connection with them can be hard so a lot of times we rely on our long-term friends. We have a lot of couples that we are friends with benefits and there is a lot of emotional connection there similar to how anyone is friends.”
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