A recent poll found has discovered the early days of parenthood are full of worry and self-doubt – and there are some things parents wish they could tell themselves in hindsight
Savour the small moments, seek assistance when necessary, and forgive errors – these are some of the key pieces of advice parents would give to their past selves, according to a recent survey.
The poll, which surveyed 1,000 parents with children aged between one and 10, revealed that 72% felt the strain of striving to be ‘the perfect parent’.
A significant 80% wished they had spent less time fretting about ‘doing everything right’ and more time relishing their child’s early years. An equal proportion wished they could tell their past selves to trust their parenting instincts and disregard others’ opinions.
For 44% of respondents, the barrage of advice from others often or very frequently led to feeling overwhelmed, causing them confusion. So many parents wished they had trusted their own instincts instead.
The survey also highlighted the main challenges parents encountered during the initial months and years of their baby’s life, including sleep deprivation, deciphering their baby’s cues, and carving out time for self-care.
A total of 39% struggled to find time for self-care, a figure that was significantly higher for women (47%) than men (30%). When parents did manage to take time for themselves, 44% experienced feelings of guilt.
Emma Wardhaugh, spokesperson for Philips Avent Mother and Childcare, which commissioned the study, commented: “In the early days, it’s easy to get caught up in self-doubt and the pressure to have all the answers, but the reality is that no one has it all figured out from the start.
“Every child is different, and every parent grows into their role with time, support from their village and patience.”
The research revealed that 63% of parents relied heavily on their partners and own parents for support during the early stages of parenthood. However, a significant 62% admitted they would ask for more help if they were to do the parenting journey again.
For instance, half of the parents surveyed had babies who suffered from colic and reflux issues, and 24% of these felt inadequately supported or lacked confidence in understanding the causes and treatments.
Emma further commented: “Parenting is a role that demands so much, and it’s ok to ask for help and give yourself grace. It’s a learning process, but no parent should feel they have to carry everything alone.
“Looking back, many realise that it’s important to take time for themselves and count on their village to support them through the early days and years of their child’s life.”
TOP 20 PIECES OF ADVICE PARENTS WOULD GIVE THEIR YOUNGER SELVES:
- You’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay
- Don’t compare your child to others
- Cherish ‘the little moments’
- Laugh often with your kids
- Teach them kindness by example
- Cherish the hugs and kisses
- Ask for help when you need it
- Take lots of photos and videos
- You don’t have to be perfect
- Say “I love you” every day
- It’s okay to cry sometimes
- Celebrate the little milestones, yours and theirs
- Spend less time worrying, more time loving
- Make time for yourself (self-care isn’t selfish)
- Trust your instincts
- Slow down and enjoy the journey
- Remember, this phase won’t last forever
- Give yourself grace on hard days
- Let them be little
- Document your child’s firsts
