Exclusive:
Modern day couples are setting tradition aside in favour of their wellbeing, as they ditch sleeping in the same bed as the partner and instead have separate bedrooms
Modern life is hectic, which can make sleeping well a challenge. Estimates suggest that as many as 51% of UK adults aren’t getting enough sleep, averaging under 6.5 hours per night, which can be detrimental to our health and wellbeing.
In a shocking new study, it seems the key to a long-lasting and happy marriage may not lie in romantic getaways or date nights, but in something far more unexpected – sleeping apart.
The poll, by IllicitEncounters.com, which surveyed 2,000 people (1,000 men and 1,000 women), has uncovered a growing trend among couples who are saying goodbye to the traditional shared bed and embracing a ‘sleep divorce’. This is when a couple chooses to permanently sleep in separate beds or rooms to improve the quality of their rest.
Dr Sham Singh, sleep expert at WINIT Clinic, says, “Disruptions from snoring, restlessness or conflicting sleep schedules significantly impacts how rested you feel each morning. Sleep deprivation tends to lead to irritability and can reduce intimacy.”
‘Poor sleep made me exhausted and miserable’
Ruth Ramsay, 49, from Buckinghamshire, has successfully “sleep divorced” her husband. She says: “In my mid-forties, my husband‘s snoring, restless leg syndrome and general thrashing around in his sleep all got too much and I was exhausted and miserable. I attributed some of it to being perimenopausal – I thought my sleep was just naturally getting worse through ageing. Sometimes I’d take a sleeping pill in desperation to try to feel like I’d had a full night.
“We didn’t think we had space to sleep separately, and as a very close and romantic couple, the concept felt wrong. But then my husband decided to sleep on the floor for a few nights due to a bad back. It was a revelation. I slept soundly every night and after a few days I had so much more energy.
“He’d get into the bed in the morning and we’d have a lovely cuddle, sharing a positive chat about our day ahead instead of a rundown of how terrible the night before had been for me and how awful he felt about that.
“We discussed him staying on a mattress on the floor Monday to Friday so I could get a good sleep on work days, with him sleeping in the bed on the weekends.
“This became our new routine, but after one night trying to sleep with him next to me again, the novelty would wear off!
“We just about had space in our bedroom to squeeze a single bed next to our king-sized one, so he built a frame and invested in an orthopaedic single mattress that’s great for his back. Now we have our own beds, six inches apart.
“We both sleep much better now. He can move around without disturbing me and I get to stretch out like a princess. We have more energy, a positive mindset and more libido. Far from ruining our marriage and sex life, sleeping apart has improved both.”
Ruth is an adult sex educator and coach, ruthramsay.com
