Corporations have made it is possible to function outside the demanding and annoying realm of community, but this newfound convenience is costing you more than you think
Since my move to London last year, I have spent hundreds – if not thousands – of pounds fostering community. I did the maths. In February alone I spent over £400 on ‘community’. But what does this entail? It’s the cost of extra groceries for visiting guests, replacing a hairdryer returned broken, attending birthday drinks and milestone celebrations, ordering Ubers, grabbing the dinner bill and a recurring monthly fee to volunteer at a local radio station.
This figure doesn’t include the hours spent entertaining unexpected visitors or the herculean effort it takes to live harmoniously with flatmates. This sum of hours, energy and costs make up my investment in community.
What my investments don’t show is how annoying some of these demands can be. X user Divya Venn put this trade-off into perspective, writing: “Being annoyed is the price you pay for community. It means having guests when you’d rather be alone. It means letting someone live with you even when they get on your nerves. It means showing up for events that you’d rather not go to. It means turning the other cheek.”
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The post has been viewed over two million times and the response has been largely pro-annoyance. One commenter shared: “That [price of community] honestly took me way too long to learn… I was deep in the hyper-individualist western therapy brain and then one day I realised I had no patience for anyone and I had actually become judgemental af. I’ve changed my habits now but it was a lonely time.”
Others made it clear that any degree of annoyance or compromise is unacceptable, adding: “This is why I chose to be alone as much as possible. Rather be annoyed the least percentage of my life as possible”.
I’m not easily annoyed but I do have some hyper-individualistic tendencies, but still, the importance of community rings true and I’ve found that community – as annoying as it may be – offers a better emotional return on investment than any interest account at Lloyds.
Community is the elixir for success
For all the time, energy and money it may cost to maintain a community, research continually shows that those with a strong sense of community lead longer lives. They make fewer trips to the doctor and enjoy a more successful and lucrative career. Communities of women in particular seem to be the elixir for longevity and corporate success.
According to the Nurses’ Health Study from Harvard Medical School, the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a joyful life. The study findings were so significant, researchers were able to conclude that not having close friends was as detrimental to women’s health as smoking or increased weight.
Additionally, women with close-knit friends landed positions 2.5 times higher in authority and pay. Harvard Business Review speculates that this is because a “close inner circle of women likely provides critical private information on job opportunities and challenges.”
If these health and career benefits are not conclusive enough, consider that community is also beneficial to your relationship with yourself. Chartered psychologist, Suzy Reading, says communities help us communicate and regulate our own emotions: “connecting with communities finetunes our skills of self-advocacy, we learn how to represent ourselves and speak up about our needs, feelings and hopes.”
But community is losing a PR war against convenience and the Covid pandemic only made matters worse. The shift into social isolation – alongside growing government and social distrust – created perfect conditions for corporations to cash in on hyper individualism. Enter Amazon.
Consumption packaged as convenience
Why go through the mental headache of sharing an air fryer or asking for a ride to the airport when you can have a package or car at your doorstep in two clicks or less. Amazon Prime, Uber and other companies pushing convenience have made social interaction and patience optional exercises. This share-less-buy-more philosophy benefits corporations at the expense of individuals.
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One TikTok user put it best: “As a company, your favourite type of person in a capitalistic environment is probably a hyper individualistic person. This is a person that will pay any price for convenience. But they don’t really understand that it comes at the cost of community and togetherness.” It also comes with very real health risks.
A 2020 study found that those who felt a weaker sense of community belonging were three times more likely to report poor general health and nearly 5 times more likely to report poor mental health. The National Institute of Aging also confirms that adults who are socially isolated “tend to be less healthy, have longer hospital stays, are readmitted to the hospital more often, and are more likely to die earlier than those with meaningful and supportive social connections.”
What’s more, the UK has a loneliness problem. The government’s most recent Community Life Survey revealed that 1 in 10 adults report high levels of indirect loneliness. Male loneliness is particular has become a growing concern.
Can community make a comeback?
The long-term effects of the pandemic on our sociability are yet to be fully grasped. But if the rise of run clubs, book clubs, supper clubs and even club clubs is any indication, the pendulum is swinging back to conscious investment in community.
In fact, the recent UK Community Life Survey, revealed 61% of UK adults felt they belonged ‘very strongly’ or ‘fairly strongly’ to their immediate neighbourhood and 81% agreed that their local area is a place where people from different backgrounds get on well together.
As an expat living in London, community is something I simple couldn’t live without. The networking opportunities, the nights chatting with friends over an expensive meal, the neighbours who collect my post when I’m away or the unexpected visitor on a day when I could really do with a chat over a brew. Community is something I couldn’t function without and something we all need a dose of too.
