A woman was left shocked asking ‘is that the done thing these days?’ when one of her ‘good friends’ decided to ask for money to fund their wedding ceremony, rather than accepting gifts
Giving a newly-wed couple a present is not unusual, and often, they’ll have a list of things they’ll need – or they may ask for a contribution towards their honeymoon.
But one woman was left feeling as though one couple was “tasteless” after they asked for money in advance of their wedding, to pay for their nuptials. She explained that the bride and groom-to-be are “good friends” of her and her partner, but she found a message that was sent by the pair “offensive”.
“The invitation has arrived today, the wedding is going to be at a country house quite a fancy one, and there’s a card for a gift list”, she explained on Mumsnet.
She said that normally, she “gives cash” as a present, but she found the following message from the couple “offensive”.
“To our lovely guests. We really hope you can join us on our special day. We ask that you don’t bring any gifts on the day, but would prefer for those of you that choose to give a gift, that you make a cash donation ahead of September 1st 2024 which will help to contribute towards the celebration. All our love.”
The original poster complained that her pals were having an “expensive wedding”, but asking “guests to pay towards it”. “Is that the done thing these days?”, she asked.
In the comments, one person wrote: “Crikey that’s pretty tasteless!” Someone else shared: “I know people give money as gifts these days but the invites that basically request it make me cringe, receiving this would make me pass out.
“What on earth were they thinking, if they can’t afford the wedding they need to cut back on things. This is awful and embarrassing.”
Another penned: “No, it’s not the done thing. It’s the tasteless, grabby thing. They should have a wedding they can afford. The kindest reading is that they underestimated the wedding’s cost and are now short on funds.”
One Mumsnetter shared: “If I was going to be generous I’d say they don’t want any physical gifts. Not unreasonable at all, many people don’t have large homes and the last thing they need are duplicate toasters and kettles or tat.
“That said asking for money to pay for the wedding isn’t good, they should have been discreet about where any money received is going.”
Someone else said if she didn’t want to pay, she didn’t have to, because a gift is not compulsory. She said: “That’s upfront. However, you don’t need to ‘choose’ to give a gift so if you don’t like it, don’t.”
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