After witnessing thousands of couples parting ways, this expert reveals what they all had in common
A divorce expert has revealed the one thing his clients have in common when they agree to call time on their relationships.
James Brien set up Easy Online Divorce which was established by James Brien in 2020 after the experience of going through his own divorce. Since then has witnessed thousands of couples parting ways under different circumstances. From money problems to infidelity, a partnership can hit rocky waters for countless reasons.
But Mr Brien, a conflict expert and author on divorce, says whatever the final reasons for a couple agreeing to split, most have already stopped communicating effectively with one another. He said: “There are many factors behind why couples divorce, and it’s often not one single action that spells the end of a marriage.
“But there is a common theme I see in most couples looking to end their legal partnership – a lack of communication. At some point along the way their communication has broken down and they have found it hard or impossible to speak to one other about the problems they are facing.
“They have stopped opening up about what’s wrong, stopped working through problems together and bitterness and resentment has started to seep in. I see this when they reach the stage of wanting to end their marriage and are at complete odds about why their relationship has crumbled.
“Often one action is blamed – such as infidelity – but the truth is a marriage has often broken down before such an act is carried out.”
Even if the relationship is irretrievable it’s still possible to have a less painful separation if you are able to communicate. The author, who has penned ‘The Real Man’s Guide to Divorce’ and ‘The Mindful Divorce: How to Heal and Be Happy After Separation’ says minimising impact on children and the wider family is key.
He said: “Divorce can have far-reaching emotional impacts. This is why it’s so important to be as open and honest with each other as possible. Be truthful about your feelings and listen when your partner does the same.
“If you do reach a point where you can no longer stay in the marriage, an understanding of each other goes a huge way to minimising conflict. It’s a big ask but it is possible.”
Since 2022 the ‘no-fault’ divorce has allowed couples to part ways without placing blame on one party. Before this you had to blame a spouse for the breakdown by providing evidence of unreasonable behaviour, or you had to have been separated for two years if you both agreed to divorce.
Mr Brien added: “The old system was a really stressful process and often involved delays. The ‘no-fault’ divorce has allowed couples to part ways in a kinder fashion which has paved the way for building a more harmonious environment post-split.”
