Chilling out in the Caribbean is hot, hot, hot holiday heaven – and yet there I was with my extremities feeling cryogenically frozen. However, only two days later I was able to thaw out in a volcanic thermal mud pool at a toasty 39C.
And of course there were ample opportunities for more typically tropical dips in balmy seas on a seven-night cruise aboard TUI’s newest ship, Marella Voyager. My chiller-thriller was on the gorgeous Spice Island of Grenada, where my wife Debbie and I had joined the Chocolate and Waterfall tour from the cruise port at pretty island capital St George’s.
This mountainous island produces world-class chocolate and nutmeg –and our first stop was the Diamond cocoa plantation, the oldest on the island dating from 1710. There we learned all about Grenada’s bean harvesting and fermentation processes then the drying, turning, cleaning and sorting for size and quality by hand, before heading to the roasting ovens and, of course, the all-important tasting.
Chocs away, we moved on to the nutmeg and mace industry which arrived from Indonesia in 1843 and makes perfume, soap and myrrh (as in the Three Wise Men) which is an ingredient in lipstick, after-shave, toothpaste and anaesthetic massage cream for athletes.
The nutmeg in football? Yes, that too. The expression could well stem from being “nutmegged” – ie conned with fake wooden nutmegs at spice trade markets. True or not, it’s a very useful multipurpose plant.
With lively guide Rooster leading the way, we headed onwards and very much upwards to the 65ft high Concord Falls, where there are toilets, souvenir stalls, a nice bar and a viewing platform. Swimmers head down flights of steps to the rocky area by the plunge pool and wade in. (Tip: take water shoes. It’s sharp gravel by the pool and the way in is rocky and slippery.)
My goosebumps were huddling together for warmth as I shivered in the depths and idly wondered about the physics involved in water being so chilly on a tropical island. Good fun, though. Two days later Voyager docked at Castries, Saint Lucia, and we joined another great tour with charismatic guide Cliff, a nonstop conveyor belt of jokes and facts.
We passed military sites – Saint Lucia changed hands 14 times between Britain and France in colonial times – banana plantations and a rum distillery as we headed to the Sulphur Springs volcano at Soufriere on the slow switchback roads of this hilly island. (If there is a world shortage of hairpin bends it’s because Saint Lucia has, ahem, cornered the market.)
What is actually not that far in miles takes a couple of hours so we took a break at the prime viewpoint for a photo op of the fabled Pitons twin conical mountains. They are the symbol of the island and one of the most famous sights in the Caribbean.
Finally at Soufriere – home of the “World’s Only Drive-In Volcano” – we decamped amid the whiff of sulphur (hence the French name) and changed into our swimwear ready for the Mud Bath Experience. There are four pools of volcanic thermal water and they range from that feisty 39C to something a little less likely to turn you into a human version of a lobster thermidor.
The idea is to get soaked/boiled and then slather yourself with mineral-rich grey and black mud from pots by the pools. It’s said to have all sorts of beneficial and rejuvenating properties but, whether or not it does, it’s a laugh and a must for your social media. And my extremities really enjoyed the thawing out bit!
Besides views and volcanic mud, Cliff also shared a mountain of facts about Saint Lucia’s bounty of spices such as nutmeg (again!), cinnamon and all sorts of plants that can be used as healthy superfoods, remedies or natural Viagra.
As he said: “Everything that grows on our island is food or medicine – it’s all useful.”
Apart from being perishing and poached, I was also able to relax in the more “normal” Caribbean waters when Voyager stopped at Scarborough, Tobago, and we took a bus to Pigeon Point, one of the best beaches on the island with those gorgeous azure seas.
Debbie and I had joined Voyager in Bridgetown, Barbados, with a remarkably easy boarding process where you go from a bus at the plane steps directly to the ship and your bags arrive at your cabin a couple of hours later. That accommodation featured a large balcony with room for two sun loungers, two chairs and a hammock, ample storage, a decent-sized bathroom with shower but limited plug sockets, though there is a USB A and C port.
Our two other stops for the week were StVincent and the Grenadines’ capital Kingstown and French territory Guadeloupe’s Pointe-a-Pitre. Neither are the prettiest of Caribbean ports but the StVincent Botanic Gardens is delightful – the oldest in the western hemisphere opened in 1765 and the site of a breadfruit tree grown from a shoot brought in by that Captain William Bligh in 1793.
It’s about a 40 minute stroll from the cruise port. Much closer was gritty Pointe-a-Pitre’s main market. It’s so worth a visit for a palette of colourful spice, fruit and vegetable stalls, while tours of the rest of the butterfly shaped islands take visitors to places that are definitely pretty. Hit TV series Death in Paradise is filmed here, so location trips are available.
The cruise ended with a chilled out sea day back to Barbados passing Grenada, Martinique, Saint Lucia and St Vincent, enjoying a book, the scenery, blue skies and more of that magical Caribbean Sea.
Water week it was…
VOYAGER’S FOOD SCENE
There is something for everyone on board, from the varied and airy food hall The Kitchens to the main Latitude 53 restaurant with its Italian offshoot Vista (all included).
We really rated the included Mexican Abuela’s for piquant corn soup and chicken and chorizo tacos. A nice venue by the very pleasant Summer House inside/outside bar at the stern.
Voyager offers extra-charge venues and we had an outstanding dinner at Silver Fork, home to an exciting twist on British favourites. Try white tomato soup, deconstructed Scotch eggs, beef Wellington with carrots three ways and two absolute showstoppers – a wrong way round fish and chips where the chips are the fish (actually scallops) and a reconfigured apple crumble and custard. If Stranger Things did meals, these two “upside down” corkers would be on the menu(£39.95).
Another standout was the Kora La Asian-inspired restaurant (£31.45). After a street food-style potato dough ball starter the Thali Experience was awesome with Kashmiri, Madras, Makhani and tarka dal curry dishes accompanied by rice, naan bread and poppadoms.
A glorious array of tasting size dishes with spices, mild to medium heat and tenderchicken.
Could this be the best curry at sea?
ENTERTAINMENT ON BOARD
As per the food, there is something for everyone from general knowledge quizzes on the sundeck to a nightclub via an acoustic guitarist in a bar.
We also headed to The Exchange for The Heist, a 90-minute interactive experience (£17.95).
The venue is tucked away in a quiet corner and accessed with a coded message at an old red telephone box.
The premise is a 1930s speakeasy in London’s East End with wide boy Jimmy Fivefingers and friends entertaining us “guests” with banter, songs and some groan-worthy jokes. No spoilers, but it’s a thoroughly enjoyable experience and a bit different. Gin cocktails ease it along nicely…
Voyager’s resident show team did some fine performances in the main theatre, but the star of the week had to be Britain’s Got Talent 2014 finalist Jon Clegg.
The onboard guest comedy impressionist did a peak time family show and a late-night adult performance and both were hilarious.
Book the holiday
Marella Cruises offers a seven-night all-inclusive Eastern Caribbean round trip on Marella Voyager from £1,666pp, sailing from Bridgetown, Barbados, to Pointe-a-Pitre, Guadeloupe; Castries, Saint Lucia; Kingstown, St Vincent; St George’s, Grenada; and Scarborough, Tobago.
Depart from Gatwick on March 27 with 20kg baggage and transfers, includes tips and service charges; Manchester flight from £1,714pp. tui.co.uk/cruise
More info at visitbarbados.org guadeloupe-islands.com stlucia.org discoversvg.com puregrenada.com visittobago.gov.tt
