As he wobbles uncertainly on his playmat, this baby boy may only just be old enough to sit up by himself. But he’s not too young to be mesmerized by the iPhone he’s clutching excitedly in his tiny hands.
The moment his laughing mother tries to take it back, however, all hell breaks loose. He erupts in a rage, toppling backwards and kicking his legs furiously, until she pulls him up and hands him back the device. Instantly he’s all smiles again. The clip is just one of hundreds of YouTube videos showing infants and toddlers being instantly soothed by screens – the pacifier of the modern age.
And like this one, these videos rack up thousands of likes. After all, what parent doesn’t recognise the hypnotising effect that the bright colours and constantly moving images have over the youngest of children? When we see their chubby fingers moving so deftly across the screen surely they must be learning something new, right? Wrong. Teachers are now making it clear that precisely the opposite is happening.
Children starting school at the age of four or five are increasingly lacking the key skills we once took for granted, according to a new report by early years charity, Kindred Squared. Half of the 1,000 primary school staff surveyed say that every year the tiny children turning up for reception are less ready. They speak and understand fewer words, struggle to communicate their needs, and are less likely to know how to use a book, thinking that they should tap the pages, instead of turning them.
And while these children may have been practising using their index finger to swipe, teachers say 32% struggle to hold a pencil or crayon in their hands because they lack the overall muscle strength. Half of teachers believe the top reasons include children being left to their own devices on electronics. Indeed, according to the UK’s communication regulator Ofcom, more than a quarter of three- and four-year-olds already own their own smartphone.
So considering we are finally joining the dots on how unsupervised use of smartphones can affect young people – contributing to anxiety, disrupted sleep and body image problems – why are parents handing them over so young?
Psychologist Dr Aric Sigman is a member of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on a Fit and Healthy Childhood. He believes one reason is that parents are struggling more to keep up. “Parents have to work much harder and longer than they used to, often trying to do it on their own with less family support,” he says. “So when they need to get things done, screens become electronic babysitters.”
This overwhelm also makes them easy targets for tech companies peddling the message that children need to learn to use tech young and that it gives them a headstart – which is not borne out by the evidence, adds Dr Sigman. But this is not just a perfect storm. It’s also a ticking time bomb for the future.
Child development experts point out that at this age, it’s not so much about what babies and toddlers are doing when they spend time on two dimensional screens. It’s about what they are missing out on doing and experiencing for the first time in the real, three-dimensional world.
Dr Angharad Rudkin, a chartered clinical psychologist with more than 20 years’ experience of working with children and families, says: “Children’s brains are designed to learn from socialising with others in a face-to-face way – learning how to speak, act and manage their emotions. If children are spending a lot of time on screens, and this isn’t being balanced out with good quality interactions with the adults around them, it’s likely to have an impact on their development.”
And while we may think babies and toddlers don’t notice when our eyes keep returning to our screens, they do. According to a range of studies, when a parent’s face suddenly goes from smiling and attentive to blank and expressionless when they stare at their phone, young children find it confusing and stressful.
Observations of infants show they make repeated vocalisations to try and get their parents’ attention back, and then get distressed and turn their bodies away if it doesn’t work. And while it’s impossible to pay attention to your baby all the time, screens gradually erode how often children and parents communicate at a crucial period of brain development when they are learning their core social and language skills.
One study, published in the Journal Academic Pediatrics (2014), found that if mothers had screens at mealtimes, it led to 20% fewer verbal – and 39% fewer non-verbal – interactions. In one heart-breaking account from the new Kindred Squared report, a teacher said how it broke her heart when parents don’t look up from their phones when the children come out of school.
“You know, the amount of times I’ve seen children so happy and excited wanting to tell their mum and dad, ‘Look what I’ve made!’ They’re just not interested, and it just makes you feel so sad for the child.”
The loss of this attachment bond between parents and child can have a profound impact because it affects a child’s sense of safety in the world, as well as how they will always relate to others, adds Dr Rudkin. “The first 1,000 days are when these foundations of feeling connected to others around you are built. Feeling like you are important to the adults around you is an essential part of this foundation. Being on screens gets in the way and can have significant impacts on that child in the longer term.”
And while it’s funny to see a baby or toddler instantly stop crying when they are handed a phone, there is one more crucial skill young children are missing out on when we hand over our screens too readily. They don’t get the practice they need to regulate and calm themselves down, which is key for healthy relationships.
Dr Rudkin says: “Babies learn self-regulation skills from day one. They gradually learn to work out what the emotions they are experiencing are and what to do with them. It’s a skill that’s essential for success and happiness in later life. They need to learn how to do this without props and aids so that they can grow to be someone who can regulate their emotions whatever situation they are in.”
Teachers believe that this helps explain why more children are now turning up at school having difficulty playing and sharing with other children. According to one headteacher in the new report: “When children can’t communicate their wants, needs, or emotions, then you’re faced with emotional dysregulation. You can’t meet their needs because you don’t really know what they are.”
But while the guidance in the UK remains vague, experts in other parts of the world say it’s time parents got more clear-cut advice. According to Dr Sigman: “In the absence of this, parents would do well to stick to the World Health Organization advice, which says no screen time for children under two.”
After Australia, New Zealand and Canada told their parents the same, Sweden is the latest nation to adopt these clear-cut guidelines. Tellingly, their health authorities have also advised parents to “self-reflect” on their own screen use. But as the UK starts to face up to the impact that early screen use has on our youngest children, there’s nothing stopping parents introducing boundaries for their own families, says Dr Sigman.
And while the landscape remains tough for working parents in the cost-of-living crisis, he says one solution may be for grandparents to get more involved with the family to help lighten the load so that working parents don’t reach for screens as a childminder.
Rather than give your grandchild a screen for Christmas or their birthday, Dr Sigman says the best gift a grandparent can give is their time and support. “What every grandchild will ultimately benefit the most from is your warmth, attention and offer of support to their parents, so they feel aren’t trying to do this on their own,” he adds.
We live in a world where smartphones are designed to be multitasking tools needed for almost every communication and purchase we make. So while it’s impossible to NEVER use your phone around your baby or toddler, here’s some tips from the upcoming book, What’s My Baby Thinking? to prevent tech from interrupting your relationship with your child.
- Think of screen time as a health issue: Think about what inputs you want to feed your child’s brain – and whether you want them to learn in the real world or from tech created for profit. Remember their favourite toy – and the best learning tool – will always be you.
- Consider the effect on your child’s sleep: Giving babies and toddler screens during the day only serves to store up problems for bedtime. One study with six- to 36-month-old children found that as the time spent using touchscreens increased, children took longer to get to sleep and slept less.
- Ringfence your own phone use: Avoid the temptation to catch up on your phone messages when you are breast- or bottle-feeding as touch and eye contact during this precious time is key. You will also need to pick up on your baby’s cues that they have had enough milk. Make a point of putting away your phone at other special moments of connection during the day, like bath times and story times.
- Make your phone less accessible. Young children learn from watching us, so we need to consider how to put boundaries around our own phone use. Try creating friction, so you think twice about getting your phone out in front of your child. If your phone has a folding cover, for example, put a rubber band around it as you will have to take it off to use it. Wait until they are asleep to catch up on messages.
- Make your phone less appealing: Babies and toddlers are drawn to the bright colours and sounds. Take steps to make it look as boring as possible. One way you can do so is to change your screen from colour to black and white.
- Delay screens: See the bigger picture. Giving your child a phone to keep them quiet or happy may seem like an easy fix in the moment. But the longer you delay giving them screens as a source of entertainment, the more words and social skills they will have by the time they start school.
What’s My Baby Thinking? Practical Child Psychology for Modern Parents, by Tanith Carey and Dr Angharad Rudkin will be published by DK in October
