A mum has been left wondering whether she made a big mistake after decided to declutter and clean her 13-year-old’s room while she was away – and now she’s furious with her
Any parent of teenagers will know that they can be very particular about their bedrooms – viewing them as private sanctuaries away from school and friends.
One well-meaning mum decided to give her 13-year-old daughter’s room a makeover while she was out, but she didn’t anticipate the teen’s furious reaction, leaving her questioning if she did the right thing. The mum explained that her soon-to-be 14-year-old daughter usually keeps her room tidy, but it’s a small space with a lot of stuff, and she had been struggling with mental health issues recently, so it wasn’t as neat as usual.
Wanting to help, the mum gave the room a thorough “deep clean”. Sharing her story on Reddit, the mum wrote: “So I checked it out, only threw out was actually trash, like candy wrapper etc. I bought a new bed sheet in her favourite colours (neon pink and black), new boxes with weeks under her bed, washed everything (blankets, plushies, hidden ‘maybe clean-maybe not’ clothes), folded everything, cleaned out the carpet. You know the jazz.
“I did the same with her little sister’s room. She. Freaked. Out. She nitpicked what I did, accusing me of throwing away her stuff (not true). I messed up her wardrobe (not true again, I put everything where she would put them). Now she’s basically ignoring me all day, and sitting in her ‘messed up’ room.”
Fellow Reddit users empathised with the mum’s difficult situation, recalling their own teenage years and the importance of personal space. One user suggested: “I gave my 14-year-old a head’s up before she went away saying, ‘hey, while you’re gone, I’m going to try to muck out your room and tidy up, okay?’ She said, ‘thank God’ and wholeheartedly endorsed me doing all the scut work. I think maybe communicating up front might have helped.”
Another commented: “We all have good intentions when it comes to our kids, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re always right. My daughter has never had an easy time maintaining a clean room, but once she reached a certain age, I would talk to her first before touching any of her things.
“It took a lot of restraint on my side though haha. The kids grow up and we need to make sure we show them respect as we expect them to show us. Just talk to her and I’m sure you guys can smooth things over.”
If you’re finding things tough and need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are always there. You can call their free helpline at any time on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email them at jo@samaritans.org or visit their website to find your nearest branch.
