As Prince Harry and King Charles struggle to repair their father son bond, psychotherapist Lucy Beresford reveals the reason she believes their rift will never be resolved
At a time when we thought there was nothing more Prince Harry could say against his family, the Duke of Sussex caused new shockwaves in a BBC interview, raising more grievances about his treatment since stepping down as a working royal.
After losing his Court of Appeal challenge over the level of security he receives while visiting the UK, Harry told the BBC he felt once again “let down” and accused the Royal Household of influencing the decision to reduce his security.
It comes after the Duke stepped down as a working royal in 2020, and it was decided that he would not automatically receive comprehensive security when in the UK.
Harry said some people “want history to repeat itself by denying him a higher level of security”, and that his father “won’t talk to him” due to the security grievances.
Harry added that his “jaw hit the floor” when he learned a representative of the Royal Household sits on the Ravec committee, which authorises security for senior royals on behalf of the Home Office.
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It was reported that the committee’s then-chair, Sir Richard Mottram, made the decision without carrying out a full review into threats Harry faced at the time – but the Court of Appeal concluded he had done so for “sensible” reasons, and that a review would not have changed the outcome.
Harry claimed Sir Richard “abandoned” a full review of his security arrangements after speaking to the Royal Household. The prince also said during the BBC interview: “I have had it described to me, once people knew about the facts, that this is a good old fashioned establishment stitch up – and that’s what it feels like.”
Despite all his grievances, Harry declared that he hoped for a reconciliation and that he didn’t “know how much longer” his father has left.
Psychotherapist and relationship coach Lucy Beresford believes that in Harry’s mind, at least, there is a feeling that King Charles is also “letting him down”.
Lucy told us: “He says he makes some comments about ‘the establishment’ which were on this particular body or board or committee that decides who gets security. So, Prince Harry is making an assumption that King Charles could do something about that. I do not know whether that is true or not.”
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But Harry has shown deep love and devotion to his ‘Pa.’ Just hours after the shock announcement of Charles’ illness was made to the world in February 2024 – Harry got on a plane to rush to see the King.
But the fallout from his 2023 memoir Spare and TV interviews remains. Harry has reportedly only seen his father once since news of his illness.
However, psychotherapist Lucy believes little will change as Harry continues to position himself in “victim mode.” And a clue to his burning resentment is could like in the name of his book.
The expert explains: “Psychologically, as Freud identified, sons need to feel that they will eventually triumph over their fathers. In this particular family, that is actually going to happen. When King Charles dies, Prince William will literally take his job.
“But that’s never going to be available for Prince Harry. That opportunity to fulfil that kind of psychological destiny will never be available to him. And that, of course, is no one’s fault. But that is the thing – being ‘the spare’ – that could be fueling some of this resentment unconsciously.
“He makes some comments about ‘the establishment’ which were on this particular committee that decides who gets security. So Prince Harry is making an assumption that King Charles could do something about that. I do not know whether that is true or not. But In his mind, he feels aggrieved.”
Lucy also points out that the BBC interview differs from others he has done. She explains: “There is an element of him not wanting to be forgotten, the irony is that he is the one who took himself away, moving to America, so with this interview for the BBC, it’s more about trying to remind people he still exists.
“It’s like he is saying ‘don’t forget me!'”
Lucy claims the interview demonstrates Harry’s “inner child” has “hijacked his adult brain” in regards to his security concerns – that “history will repeat itself” – that what happened to his mother, Princess Diana, could happen to him and his family.
“If it has already happened in your family. There is an argument that it might happen. But as a grown up, you could probably make your own choices so that it doesn’t happen again,” she explains.
“But his inner child is so strong that it’s almost like it’s hijacked his adult brain to say, ‘no this would definitely happen if I don’t get the security that I that I long for, then really bad things will happen.’
“The main problem that Prince Harry has got, is that the Royal Family now don’t trust him because he keeps going on to the media,” says Lucy.
“If you go into the media and the latest thing you say is, I want to reconcile, that just kind of proves everybody’s point, which is you you only seem to be able to communicate in the media, and we don’t trust you when you do that. He’s kind of reinforcing everyone’s impression of him.”
Ultimately Lucy believes that although the feelings of grievances and resentment towards the Royal Family is real – the desire to reconcile with his estranged father may not be.
“I don’t honestly think we can say he wants a relationship with his father because his book suggests someone who is very happy to burn a lot of bridges,” says Lucy.
