A woman was initially ‘beyond excited and honoured’ when her best friend from her schooldays asked her to be her bridesmaid, but things took a seriously ‘awkward’ turn when the bride presented her with a pricey ‘bridesmaid package’
A woman has spoken out about her decision to step back from her best friend’s wedding after learning the bride-to-be intended to bill her to the tune of £700. The 24-year-old woman had initially been “beyond excited and honoured” when Megan, her close friend since their schooldays, asked her to be her bridesmaid.
However, things then took an unexpected turn when, a couple of weeks after the big proposal, Meghan presented her old pal with an email setting out the “bridesmaid package”, which included some hefty sums.
Making it clear what she expected from her bridesmaid party, Meghan had attached a spreadsheet to the email, letting them know exactly what they’d “need to pay for in order to participate”. And the honour certainly didn’t come cheap.
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Taking to Reddit, the baffled bridesmaid wrote: “$500 for the dress (which I had to buy from a very specific boutique); $300 for hair and makeup (which would also be done by a specific stylist she had ‘already booked’); $150 for a gift for the bride (and this was the ‘minimum amount, she said); and $100 for a bachelorette party deposit, which would cover her trip to a luxury resort.”
She added: “And then, to top it off, she asked for an extra $50 for ‘miscellaneous expenses,’ which I still can’t figure out.”
Although the anonymous Reddit user understood that weddings don’t come cheap, the situation just felt “wrong”, and so she decided to message Megan directly to air her concerns. The worried woman told Megan: “This was way too much money for me to afford, especially since I was still paying off student loans and saving up for other things.”
In response, Megan argued that these costs are simply ‘the norm’ for modern weddings. The original poster revealed: “She said, ‘I’m just trying to make sure everything’s perfect, and these costs are necessary.’ She even said, ‘If you can’t afford to be in my wedding, I understand, but I can’t change the plans for everyone else.’ “
Explaining that she now feels “super awkward”, she shared: “I’ve always been there for her, but this just feels like she’s using her wedding as an excuse to make her guests pay for her dream day. I told her that I couldn’t afford all of it, and she hasn’t spoken to me since.
“Some of my other friends say I should just suck it up and pay to avoid making a scene. Others say I should stand my ground … and refuse to pay to be in her wedding.”
Fellow Reddit users were on hand to offer advice, with one person commenting: “You’re under no pressure to say no and go your own way. Weddings are expensive, sure, but this is beyond ridiculous.”
Others suggested: “Tell her clearly that you will live to be there as a guest, but you cannot meet the requirement she asks for to be a bridesmaid. This has nothing to do with how it’s done now; this is her expecting others to pay for her wedding and pressuring them to do so.
“She has a choice, but instead, she sees you as a meal ticket to a wedding she couldn’t afford otherwise. If you can’t pay for your own wedding, don’t get married until you’ve either saved for it or downsized.
“When she starts sending guests the bill for their own meals at her wedding, pull out altogether, maybe. She’s not your friend, or she wouldn’t treat you like crap. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends. She’s shown she thinks little of you now. Politely decline and don’t feel guilty.”
Do you have a story to share? Email me at julia.banim@reachplc.com
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